


Fifty-Shades of Gray Goose

by SnakesAndSheep



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, BDSM, Gaslighting, Horror, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Murder Mystery, Original Fiction, Psychological Horror, Rimming, Romance, Rough Sex, Slash, Suspense, Thriller, Under-negotiated Kink, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-06-29 03:20:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnakesAndSheep/pseuds/SnakesAndSheep
Summary: October has a lot to worry about. His mother has been gone for over a month, again, and his sister has never been the picture of mental health. His drug dealing fuck buddy is getting too serious. Honestly, the kinky sex with his mother's boyfriend didn't even seem that weird.Updates





	1. Expensive Gin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But you can’t afford a partner?”
> 
> “My income, my attention, my time, my affection,” October said bitterly, “I don’t have any to spare.”

October believed in the “Fuck it” Adjustment. Oh it’s not working? Fuck it. He left the broken radio to be perpetually trapped between the classic rock station and some radio evangelist.

It had been well over two hours since anyone had stumbled into the tiny gas station. The roads were no longer visible under the blankets of snow and ice that had been falling since early that afternoon. The storm had been a surprise and the city had not been prepared to keep the streets cleared. He had offered to stay late and let Fatima, who was scheduled to close, take the cross town journey home. 

He was now pondering the great universal question, “Was overtime worth it?”

He was at least forty percent sure that he was stuck in some early circle of hell. Destined to spend the rest of eternity in some run down gas station with the rest of the virtuous pagans and unbaptized children. He had two and a half hours before he could close for the night, and the hands on the clock were glued in place. 

October saw his next customer before they even pulled into the gas station. The black car stood out in the sea of white, the only sign that life was continuing on. He watched it turn into the lot and park as close to the door as it could get. 

He straightened up as the man pulled open the door, suddenly conscious of the muddy floor and the mixture of Led Zeppelin and gospel coming in between the static. 

Alabaster. October felt anxiety flood him. What was he doing here? His mother's new boyfriend of the month. The man was wearing more money than October had ever owned and he didn’t belong in this decaying gas station next to expired candy bars and a fountain machine that hadn’t been cleaned since the early nineties. 

“October,” Alabaster recognized with a smile, they had really only met once over an awkward dinner.

The man raised a dark eyebrow,“ I came into town for a meeting and now it doesn't look like I’m going to be able to make it home. Do you know if there is a hotel near here? My gps is adamant that there is one right here.”

October shook his head, he got that a lot. “Damn. Not for at least three years, the closest one is on Hill Street but they closed down the bridge because of the shitty weather.”

The man ran a hand through his wavy black hair, “Well, thank you. I hope you have a good night.” He said before turning to leave.

“There isn’t any other hotels in town and they shut down the interstate. You can stay the night with me. ” October said before he really thought about it, he didn’t really want to be stuck with this man all night. But what else could he do? Let Alabaster sleep in his car in freezing temperatures or let him try to drive in this weather to some other kind of shelter. His mother would be pissed he was inviting Alabaster to see the inside of their run down trailer, but October didn't really care. He paid the bills, if he wanted to let some rich mother fucker sleep on his couch he would.

“If it won’t be any trouble.” The man looked skeptical at the offer. October wondered if it was that obvious that October was already regretting it.

He stuck by it though, doubling down “Nah, it will be fine. But we are stuck here for another few hours before I can shut the place down.”

October walked out from behind the counter and to the coffee, even though it had been dead all night the coffee was still hot. He drank a pot of coffee by himself usually. It helped him stay awake towards the end of the night when there were no customers and he was just waiting for the clock to run down. He poured himself and Alabaster a cup of coffee, and then grabbed some sugar and creamer packets in case Alabaster didn’t enjoy his cheap gas station coffee black like October did. 

They took a seat at one of the mustard colored booths in the corner, where the local construction workers ate their nachos and hot dogs during their lunches. October was glad that he had already wiped them down a few hours earlier. This was his favorite spot because the security camera that was pointed in this area had gone out a few months ago and his boss was too cheap to replace it. So whenever October had his work done and it was particularly slow he would sit over here and read. 

October felt anxious as he slowly sipped his coffee. Alabaster’s gaze seemed so much more sharp now. His eyes were such an intense shade of green, better suited for tropical jungles or unlabeled vials in secret laboratories. They were intense and analytical under dark eyebrows as they made their way across the room and eventually settled on him. 

“Do you pay the rent at your trailer?” Alabaster asked as he brought his own coffee to his lips. The expression on his face wasn’t pleasure as he sipped it, but he drank it without complaint. 

“Yeah.” He said as nonchalantly as he could, like it was no big deal. He had been paying all the bills for a long time.

“Is the lease in your name?”

“No.”

“You should get it changed over, so at least your building credit.”

October nodded, grateful that this stranger didn’t look at him with the same kind of pity everyone else did. Pity wasn’t worth much in the end. He would much rather be praised for how hard he worked and how well he took care of his business than babied about his misfortunes. 

“You don’t have any other family?” Alabaster asked and October shrugged before he had even finished the sentence. 

“My dad hasn’t really been part of my life and he died in prison about six months ago.. All my aunts and uncles from my mom's side are in Chicago and I haven’t even gotten so much as a letter from them since I was born. Kate’s really all I have.” October admitted, and was starting to feel uncomfortable with all of the questions. “Do you have any family?” He said, trying to get the attention off himself. 

“I’ve got an older brother named Brian. He just got back from Peru, and teaches something pretentious like contemporary metaphysics or something. I have a younger brother named Hyde, who is just a few years younger than me and works with me. I also have a sister named Alice who is about your age who is in school . Do you get along with Kate?” 

"Yeah, I don't know what I would do without her."

“You seem to be doing just fine on your own.” Alabaster said with a smirk that might almost be classified as flirtatious. October reassured himself that it was just a trick of the light, or maybe Alabaster was one of those people who flirted with everyone. 

“I know what we should do, to keep us from making awkward small talk all night.” October said with an amused smile, “Everything we say has to sound like we’ve known each other for years.”

“Can you give me an example?” 

“Alabaster, what in the world are you doing walking around without a coat on? It’s like twenty fucking degrees outside.” October said with a grin, “ And you are the only mother fucker I know who walks through a foot of snow in shoes like that.”

“For your information they are super warm and your negligent boss didn’t put any salt down in the parking lot so the leather might actually make it.” Alabaster said so seriously that October might have been anxious if it wasn’t for the smile the broke on his face.“What are you doing working anyways? There is not a soul for miles. I think you use work as an excuse to get out of having relationships with people.” 

“Not this again with you Alabaster, I already told you I work because I need the money. We can’t all be rich. I think you are projecting.”

“Oh, when’s the last time you went out of a date with a girl?” Alabaster challenged as he took a drink of his coffee. 

“You know I like men.” October said but could not keep a straight face and burst out into laughter as soon as the last word had left his lips. It was the first time that he had really said it out loud and it was just so funny that he was saying it to this complete stranger. 

“I think you are stalling.”

“I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”

What on Earth was he doing? Flirting with his mother’s boyfriend apparently. He understood what his mom saw in that man though. Alabaster was charming as fuck. Their eyes met for a moment and Alabaster smiled at him before he took another drink of coffee. 

“Oh, I get it now.” October said with a grin, “ You are trying to guilt me into shutting down early so you don’t have to spend all night in a gas station.”

“You caught me.” Alabaster raised his hands in surrender, “You always do.”

“Fine.” October said, realizing that Alabaster was probably right, nobody was coming in. He looked out at the parking lot, amused to see Alabaster’s car already covered in a thin sheet of snow. “I guess we are lucky that it’s snowing so hard, maybe people won’t realize how nice your car is and it won’t get stolen.”

“You are not as funny as you think you are.” Alabaster said before taking a sip of coffee. The way he was smiling made October think he was exactly as funny as he thought he was. 

October sent Slade a quick text anyways to tell him to keep an eye on it. October was only kind of joking about the whole getting stolen thing.

October walked over to the register and began to close everything down, every once and awhile he looked over to make sure that Alabaster was still alright with his coffee. 

“What do you do for a living?” October asked as he went through the motions of ending the day and printing out reports. 

“That doesn’t sound like a question someone who knew me would ask.” Alabaster said as he got up from the booth. October watched him out of the corner of his eye as he worked on the end of day paperwork. It was the usual bullshit. Just making sure that all the money that was supposed to be there was. He separated out how much he made from fuel sales, because they never really made any money off of gasoline anyways and it gave him a better idea of how much they actually made. Which was jack shit, because it had been dead all day. 

He looked up to check on Alabaster and watched as the man filled up both of their cups from the coffee pot. 

“I asked my mom what you did and she said she didn’t know.” October said, “So apparently not.”

“ A little this and that.” Alabaster answered. 

October made a noise in his throat. That wasn’t good. October wasn’t born yesterday. When someone didn’t want to tell you what they did for a living it was probably illegal and when someone made money like Alabaster did it was dangerous. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Alabaster smiled at him reassuringly. 

October nodded, still feeling a little bit uncomfortable. October has done some things in his time that were less than legal, sometimes in order to survive you had to. 

This wasn’t about survival.

“I'm going to go rinse out this coffee pot.” Alabaster said, changing the subject as he grabbed the coffee pot and disappeared into the backroom. Typically, October wouldn't let anyone back there but he figured Alabaster wasn't going to steal any energy drinks or bags of coffee. 

October was done by the time Alabaster came back into the front room. “Put this on.” October said handing Alabaster his winter coat, it was big on October so October was pretty sure it would fit the man.

“What are you going to wear?” Alabaster asked looking hesitant. 

“I'm wearing two shirts and I'm kind of hot anyways.” October lied. He honestly just couldn't let the dumb ass freeze on the way to the trailer. 

Alabaster looked like he didn't quite believe him, but slid on the coat anyways. “Thank you.” 

October switched out the lights and punched some numbers into the alarm system. 

“So how long have you been working here?” Alabaster asked as they walked out of the gas station and October locked the door behind them. 

“An eternity,” October answered without thinking, “Been managing it for about two years.”

October noticed Alabaster walking over towards his car and shook his head. “Just leave it, I live on the other side of that lot over there. It will be easier to walk.”

“Okay, but I need something out of my trunk first.” Alabaster continued his way to the back of his car. The car lit up as soon as Alabaster was near the car. He waved his hand in front of the trunk and seemed disgruntled when nothing happened.

“The snow must-”Alabaster started, but October had used his arm to clear it off before Alabaster could even finish his sentence. 

Once the truck opened Alabaster slung a bag over his shoulder and handed October a paper bag with a bottle inside. 

“For taking me in”Alabaster explained. 

October peaked into the paper bag and grinned, “How did you know I liked gin?”

It wasn't just gin, it was good fucking gin.

“You looked like a man with good taste.” Alabaster said pressing a button on the inside of the trunk and moving out of the way as it slowly closed itself. 

They made their way across the frozen lot, not saying much but A few expletives about how fucking cold it was. October's hands were almost too cold to unlock the door to the trailer when they reached it.

Alabaster was trying to be polite and not really look too long at the place, but October was pretty proud of it. Everything is relative, and in comparison to the other trailers October's was nice. He replaced all the broken windows and repainted it. He borrowed the power washer from the gas station powerwashed and cleaned the place and kept the lawn mown. 

The rest of the trailer park was desolate and run down. His neighbors windows boarded up and missing, the occasional one covered in foil. There were no working vehicles, the only one in the lot was missing all four tires.

The inside of the trailer was similar to the outside. If October could fix it, it was fixed. He had replaced the carpet and painted the walls last year. Nothing in the trailer was nice, but it was clean and well taken care of. That was saying a lot in his neighborhood. 

The front door led straight into the living room, which was only separated from the kitchen by a change from carpet to tile. On the opposite end of the living room was a door that led to their mother's room. On the opposite end of the kitchen was a hallway that led to the bathroom and the room Kate and October shared. 

“Kate, I'm home and I have Mom’s boyfriend Alabaster with me.” October called out into the trailer.

October didn't want to catch her off guard with their company. October made sure to mention Alabaster by name because their Mom had plenty of boyfriends. Kate didn't come out of their room when most of their Mom’s boyfriends were around, but he was hoping that maybe she would if it was just Alabaster. 

She peeked out from behind the thin door on the far side of the kitchen, her hair damp from a shower and obviously in her pyjamas. “You're home late.” She said quietly, keeping the door between them like a barrier. October took this as a good sign, at least she came out for a second.

“I let Fatima go home early so she could make it across town. It's a good thing I did or Alabaster would be sleeping in his car tonight.” October said as he set the gin down on the kitchen counter and kicked off his shoes. 

“Ah.” She said quietly, “Just tell me if you need anything.” She then disappeared behind the door again.  
October turned back to where Alabaster was standing in his living room. The man was quite a sight in his expensive suit and October's beat up winter jacket.

October was tired and honestly just wanted to crash into his bed, but decided he could play host for a little while. 

“Have you eaten yet?” October asked. He moved into the living room and switched on the two space heaters on opposite sides of the room.

“No, but if you weren't planning on eating don't worry about me.” Alabaster said as he slid off October's coat and handed it back to him. He then kneeled down and untied his shoes and set them next to the door.  
“I’ll fix us something. Pancakes alright?” October asked as he made his way to the fridge. They'd have to be alright, because October didn't have anything else. 

“Yes, Thank you. That sounds wonderful.” 

“Do you want a drink?” October asked as he grabbed the generic bisquick out of the cabinet and a mixing bowl. There was already a measuring cup inside it and October knew how much to put in without even reading the box. He grabbed the jug of milk and just eyeballed how much it needed. 

“Just some of that gin, neat, if you don't mind sharing.” Alabaster said as he came up behind October. 

“Sounds good, glasses are above the microwave, will you make me one too?" October asked as he hastily stirred the pancake mix and turned the stove on. “I'm going to change, I'll be right back.” 

October slipped into his bedroom, making sure to close the door behind him. It was a tiny space that barely housed two twin beds on hollywood frames, both pressed flush against the walls with a small space just big enough to walk through between them. 

Kate was lying on her bed, hidden amongst all the colorful clutter. October called it her “nest". Her wall was covered in pieces cut out from magazines and photos. She made a makeshift canopy out of a pink sheet she found at a thrift store and it gave some semblance of privacy. 

Kate had a paperback in her hands and didn't bother looking up from it when he came in.

When his sister was feeling good she was his partner. She took on the world with him. When she didn't feel good she was a sad shrunken version of herself who couldn't get out of bed. 

“I'm sorry I didn't make dinner. I'm just tired.” Kate said softly, not looking up from her book. She had been like this for a week now, he knew what to expect.

“It's not a big deal. Do you want some pancakes?” October said as he took off his work pants and shirt and tossed them in the hamper. He grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and slipped them on. 

“No. I'm not really hungry. “ Kate said, still not looking at him. 

“Have you eaten at all today?” October asked, already knowing the answer. 

“No.”

“You have to eat Kate, I'll bring you some pancakes in a minute” 

The temperature change from the bedroom to the living room left October's shirtless chest uncomfortably chilled, but he knew that as soon as the space heaters had a chance to get the place warm he would be fine.

Alabaster was in front of the stove pouring pancake batter into a pan with one hand and sipping gin out of one of October's dollar store glasses with the other. 

“Oh? Are you making me dinner now?” October said with a grin as he took the glass of gin that had obviously been laid out for him. He took a big drink from the glass and was surprised when an incredibly floral scent hit his nose. It smelled almost like rose petals. It burned all the way down and instantly warmed October. 

“Don’t thank me until after I've burnt the food.” He said before turning around to look at October “I'm starting to feel a little overdressed for dinner.”

Alabaster was overdressed for October's life, let alone his dinner table. He wore a black dress shirt and pants, the color of them so dark October doubted they had ever seen the inside of a washing machine. His tie was red, but the color had depth to it, October could tell it was overpriced just by the sight of it. 

“You could always take your shirt off.” October suggested with a smirk before he could help himself.

Stop flirting with him, just stop.

Alabaster took another drink of gin before setting it down on the counter with an audible tap. 

He looked October in the eye and reached up and undid his tie. He then slowly undid each of the mile long trail of smooth black buttons revealing a sliver of skin. He didn't look away once as he slid the shirt back over his shoulders and completely off. 

Alabaster was standing in his kitchen. Shirtless. October looked over his defined chest and abs for only a moment before forcing himself to look back at Alabaster’s face. 

“Better?” Alabaster asked as he set the shirt and tie on the counter. 

“Yeah.” October said trying to hide his blush in his glass of gin.

“I did burn the pancakes though.” Alabaster said turning back to his earlier task. 

“The first batch is always trash anyways.” October said picking up the frying pan and walking it over to the trash can and emptying the pancakes into it. He then started another batch. 

“Do you cook a lot?” Alabaster asked as he refilled both of their glasses. 

“I make dinner just about every night, but I only end up making like five things.” October said as he used a spatula to flip the pancakes, “I can make just about anything if there's a YouTube video on it.”

“Your mom doesn't cook?” Alabaster asked. He leaned against the counter and watched October as he got syrup out of the pantry and butter from the fridge. 

“I haven't seen my mom in like two weeks.” October said keeping his tone apathetic. He was being generous, it had actually been more like a month. 

October rescued the pancakes before they burned and put on another round. 

Alabaster didn't look entirely surprised, “How long has it been like that?”

“Since I was like eight,” October answered not looking up from what he was doing. He was being generous again, it's been like this since he was six years old. He remembers eating frozen waffles and ramen for days. Pushing a step stool to the stove and making box macaroni and cheese. Sometimes he didn't eat at all when his mom was so far gone she forgot to keep food in the house, like they were goldfish she occasionally forgot to feed. 

He grew up real fast, but he didn't really want to tell this stranger about that. 

“Can I ask you a question?” October asked quietly. 

“Sure, go ahead. It's only fair.”

“What do you see in my mother?” October asked, not understanding why anyone would choose to be with his mother. He decided last minute that he was showing too much, decided to try and take it back. “Never mind, forget it. It's none of my business.” 

“She doesn't care that I'm gone 90 percent of the time. She's fun. She's pretty.” Alabaster was quiet for a moment, “It's easy to be with someone like that when you don't really need anything.”

October thought it must be nice to not really need anything. He didn't say a word as he plopped the new pancakes on the plate. 

He poured another round of pancakes onto the stove. He nearly dropped the bowl when he felt Alabaster’s cool fingers touch his neck.

“You don't have a boyfriend, but you have bites all over your neck” Alabaster said sounding amused. October moved away from the touch. Who did this guy think he was anyways?

“I don't have time for a boyfriend.” October repeats, setting the bowl on the counter and downing the rest of his gin in one smooth drink. If Alabaster was half as smart as October thought he was he would understand. You didn't need a boyfriend to have sex. 

“No boyfriend is better than a subpar one?” Alabaster asks reaching over to refill October’s glass.

“Subpar isn’t worth the price.” October replied trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice, “What does my mother need? Money? You have plenty of it. Freedom? You don’t have time for her all the time anyways. You don’t care that she’s subpar because she’s affordable.”

“But you can’t afford a partner?” 

“My income, my attention, my time, my affection,” October said bitterly, “I don’t have any to spare.”

He didn’t let Alabaster respond. He grabbed a plastic plate from the cabinet and tossed a few pancakes on it before haphazardly pouring some syrup on them. “I have to bring these to Kate.”

He disappears behind the cheap thin door before Alabaster can say a word.

Kate didn't even look up from her book when October put the pancakes in front of her.

“Eat this.” October said with no room for argument. He wasn't sure why, but he was frustrated and it took everything in his power not to take that out on Kate.

“I’m not hungry.” Kate said, her eyes were no longer moving like she was reading. She was just staring blankly at the page.

“You have to eat.” October said again, pushing down the anger inside him. Ignoring the part of him who just wanted to let his sister starve if she choose to.

 

“Thank you,” She said in a sad whisper, but still did not look at him. 

“Love you, Kate.” He makes himself say before leaving the room. It wasn't Kate’s fault he was in a mood. 

Alabaster had already finished taking the pancakes off the pan and was standing at the sink. The bowl they had been using lay clean on the other side of the sink and the pan they were using was currently being scrubbed.

October shamelessly watched the other man’s muscles move as he scrubbed the pan. He took Alabaster’s arms and the beautiful muscles of his back. The man was gorgeous.

Alabaster rinsed the pan and set it on the other side of the sink. He took another drink of his gin before even realizing October was standing there. 

“I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you”

“You didn't,” October said trying to reassure the other man with a smile, “ Don't worry.”

Alabaster finished rinsing off the pan while October put two plates on the kitchen table. He didn't know the last time he actually had ate at the table, but Alabaster didn't look like the kind of guy who would enjoy eating on the couch. 

“This is a nice table.” Alabaster said sitting down across from October at the little four person table. 

“Found it broken on the side of the road.”October explained drowning his pancakes in syrup, “Fixed the leg, sanded it, made a stain out of steel wool and vinegar.”

He took a bite out of his pancakes and suddenly decided it was probably not a good idea to tell the man he found his furniture in the trash. But fuck, he was proud of what he turned it into. 

“People would pay good money for a table like this.” Alabaster said as he took a bite of his pancakes. He chewed and swallowed before speaking again, “Do you fix up most of your furniture?”

“I fix up everything. If I didn't we wouldn't have anything.” October said awkwardly, reaching for his gin again. He didn't know how the conversation kept turning to how poor he was. It was kind of embarrassing. Yes, his mom was a deadbeat. Yes, he didn't have two pennies to rub together. Next topic please. 

“So tell me about the guy who left all those marks on your neck?” Alabaster asked.

Not that topic. 

“Just some guy. You wouldn't know him.” October joked, making it clear this isn't where he wanted the conversation to go.

“Do you two fuck often?” It caught October off guard, like hearing a high school teacher swear. 

“Yes.” October told his pancakes, before shoving then in his mouth. He couldn't tell his mother's boyfriend about his active sex life if he was eating pancakes. 

Alabaster smirked at him before taking a bite of his own pancakes. 

“How about you? You fucking anyone other than my mom?” October lashed out a little before he can really help himself. Alabaster made him feel trapped. You shouldn't corner wounded animals. 

Alabaster looked him straight in the eyes and smirked.

“Yes.”

October swallowed down hard and suddenly was forced to accept what he had been denying all night long. He was going to fuck his mother's boyfriend. 

He downed his gin and for the third time that night Alabaster refilled it for him. 

“I'm not a sophomore on the cheer squad, you don't have to get me drunk to fuck me.” October said, taking a drink of the gin anyways. It was really good fucking gin. 

“Tell me then,” Alabaster said smoothly, “What do I have to do to fuck you?”

October swallowed down hard again. He had tripped up plenty of people with lines like that, Alabaster didn't miss a fucking beat though. 

He suddenly felt very hot. Maybe the space heaters had finally warmed up the place. Maybe it was the four glasses of gin. 

Maybe it was the way Alabaster was watching him. 

October stood up and suddenly felt all four glasses of gin. He was definitely buzzed. He laughed out loud just a little at what a terrible idea this was. But fuck, he wasn't about to stop now. 

He watched as Alabaster stood up and closed the distance between them. Alabaster’s hands rested on his waist and pulled him in closer. “Well?” He said against October's lips. 

“You could just ask" October said breathlessly, his hands gripping Alabaster by the shoulders.

Alabaster kissed him softly against the lips, “Nicely?”

“No,” October closed his eyes, “Not nicely.”

Alabaster grinned against his lips before slamming him back against the kitchen counter. His muscular body surrounding October's own as he deepened the kiss. October was moaning into Alabaster’s mouth before his mind could even catch up. His hands gripping Alabaster’s broad shoulders for purchase. 

Fuck, he had never been so turned on and they hadn't even done anything. 

Alabaster spread his fingers across the back of October's head, curling them in the hair there and yanking October's head to the side with a cruel jerk. October whimpered at the feeling of his neck being exposed. A dozen or so bites from other lovers prominently on display.

Alabaster reached up and traced over the bites softly, fingers resting just under his chin where October was sure he could feel October's racing pulse beneath his fingertips. 

Alabaster’s fingers moved and his hot mouth took their place. He bit down and sucked, leaving his own mark on the canvas of October's neck. October tried to move away but Alabaster’s hand in his hair kept him still. He tried to jerk away again, just to feel that rush of helplessness. He moaned shamelessly at the feel of Alabaster’s fingers tightening in his hair. 

He loved feeling so trapped. Pinned into the counter by Alabaster’s muscular body, unable to even move his neck. He lifted his hips to grind against Alabaster’s own, panting at the feel of Alabaster’s hardening cock against his own. 

Fuck, they were wearing too much. 

Alabaster’s free hand slid between them and beneath the elastic of October's shorts without October really noticing. He was too focused on the way the man was kissing him, his hand still gripping October's hair tightly as he bit and sucked on October's lips. October jerked back into the counter as Alabaster wrapped his hand around him. “Fuck,” He groaned too loudly as the other man stroked down his throbbing cock.

The man wasn't going to let him have any dignity. October was going to cum in his basketball shorts.

Alabaster’s hand released October's hair and found new purpose running up October's chest. October burried his face in the crook of Alabaster’s neck and tried to keep his panting and whimpering from waking up the entire neighbourhood. 

Alabaster kept stroking and working him leisurely while his other hand experimented with October's nipple. He rolled it in between his fingers and October let out a literal sob against his neck.

Bang bang bang

A knocking at the trailer's front door filled the entire room with sound. 

“Do you want to answer that?” Alabaster asked, but didn't stop stroking October's cock. He sped up the pace, making October practically shake against him. 

“Alabas-" October tried to speak, but Alabaster was tugging and rolling his nipple between his fingers and it was all he could do to keep standing. 

Bang bang bang

October buried his face further in Alabaster’s neck and gripped into his broad shoulders. His hips rose to meet Alabaster’s strokes, thrusting erratically into the slick heat of the other man's hand.

Bang bang bang

October held onto Alabaster desperately as he came so hard his legs shook. His incoherent babbling hidden in the man's pulse. 

Jesus, fuck. 

It took October a solid minute to catch his breath. Whoever was at the door long gone. 

“Christ, that was good.” October said leaned back against the counter watching Alabaster wash his hands in the sink. “ Want me to do you?”

“Don't you have to work ridiculously early in the morning?” Alabaster asked.

October didn't remember telling him that, but it was true. “Have to be there by four" 

“Then you should get to bed.” Alabaster said with a smile, hands resting on October’s hips. 

October couldn't help the insecurity that was surfacing. What had he done wrong? What guy turned down a blowjob? He swore Alabaster was getting him drunk to hook up with him, now suddenly the guy didn't want it. 

“Yeah, your right" October said pushing away from Alabaster a little. He grabbed a spare comforter and pillow from behind the couch. “You'll have to sleep on the couch, but it’s a pullout, I'd give you my bed but I share a room with Kate and that would make her really uncomfortable.”

“That's fine. I appreciate it.” 

Kate was already asleep by the time October went to bed and still asleep when he got up in the morning. 

Alabaster had already left. The dinner dishes washed and in the sink, the comforter folded on the couch, and a thank you note beside the coffee pot. It left a bad taste in October's mouth but he ignored it and got ready for the day.

…..

“Fuck?” 

At least Rhett always knew how to keep his text messages to the point. 

October hovered over the disgusting gas station toilet, bracing himself on the wall with on hand and taking a long drag with the other. He didn’t have enough time to smoke and shit, so he multitasked. He let the smoke escape slowly until it filled up the tiny cement room. He felt all of his stress escape for a moment as he pressed his head against the dingy wall. He stayed there for another moment before taking another long drag and tossing the butt of his cigarette in the toilet.

Missy’s was a run down little gas station in the middle of town. The second S in Missy’s had long ago faded out of existence and Missy’s itself would have joined it if it wasn’t for the several trailer parks and run down apartments that brought in a steady amount of customers. October had been the general manager for over two years, and despite having no budget for repairs or labor he managed to clean the place up quite a bit. 

He put his headphones back in and listened to his public domain copy of Gilgamesh while he powerwashed the parking lot. He had a test on it in an hour and didn’t really have time to read it and he saved on labor if he powerwashed the lot himself and in the early morning it was easy to listen to his reading assignments while doing it.

He was cleaning the side of the gas station when he saw Patience walk around the corner. He pretended not to see his employee for a few moments while he paused the audiobook. It was too early for this. 

“Hey, we have a problem” Patience said seriously, though October could almost feel her excitement. It was like she was holding in a bad joke.

“What is it now?” October said as he set the powerwasher down.

“Granny’s pulling tricks in the parking lot” Patience somehow managed to say with a straight face.

October took the sentence literally.

“Tell her to get out or we will call the cops” October said passively, not one of the harder executive decisions of the day. 

“I'm not talking to her. She’s like foaming at the mouth” 

October was pretty sure Patience was being over dramatic. He ran his hand down his jeans and briskly walked to the front of the store. Instead of arguing, it was much easier for him to just handle business by himself.

The woman was halfway through the window of a black suv and despite being halfway across the parking lot October could hear her clear as day. “Baby, you got five bucks baby”

October walked up calmly, one hand on his hip, and the other one waving the car away. As soon as the car drove off he approached the woman. ‘Granny’ indeed, poor woman was probably in her fifties or sixties. Probably freezing, she wasn’t wearing a coat and her pants were unzipped and barely on her hips, and if October looked down he would get an eyeful of something he wasn’t interested in seeing. 

“Ma’am, I asked you to leave yesterday” October said politely. He wasn’t mad, it was pretty clear that the woman wasn’t doing so hot. He heard stories that Granny had been like this ever since someone injected some bad meth into her after she had passed out drinking. He didn’t know how true this story was, but he figured even if Granny had gotten this way on her own she didn’t deserve a hard time. 

“I know I know” Granny muttered under her breath, “I’m going I’m going. I don’t want to be trouble.”

October stood and watched until Granny had left the parking lot before he went inside. “I don’t see why that was so much trouble Patience!” He hollered across the empty gas station, “Anybody need anything before I go to school.”

“You to text me back.” A voice replied from behind him.

“It’s none of your fucking business who I had over last night.” October turned towards Slade, “I thought my ignoring you made that pretty clear.”

Slade’s smile made it hard to be mad at him. There was no denying that the man was trailer trash, but he was indisputably hot. When he smiled his eyes crinkled up too much and he showed way too many teeth, but somehow all of this made him irresistibly attractive. The guy could have been a used car salesman in another life. He was slick, and he knew it too. His dark hair pushed back and disheveled, half smoked cigarette tucked behind one ear. Five dollar white t-shirt barely hiding a six pack and muscular arms covered in shitty garage tattoos. Still awake at seven in the morning. October didn’t know why he let the man fuck him, until he grinned again, and then he remembered. 

“Don’t be mad at me,” Slade’s exaggerated fake pout makes October roll his eyes, “I came here to drive you to school after all.”

“I’m going to walk.” October said turning and leaving out the front door. He knew that Slade would follow him, but he was sick of all his employees watching them.  
“I’ll buy you breakfast. You haven’t eaten yet right?” Slade said throwing his arm around October’s shoulder. October shrugged him off easily, but was making his way towards Slade’s obnoxious spruced up vintage brown chevy nova. He slammed the door a little as he got in, just because he knew it really pissed Slade off. 

“So why was mother fucking Alabaster Bliss’s bentley in your parking lot last night?” Slade got to the point as he turned the car on and backed out of the spot fast enough the tires slide a little on a patch of ice. October reached over and buckled his seatbelt before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. 

“He’s dating my mom.” October said simply taking a long drag from his cigarette.

“Your mom came home?” Slade asked reaching over and taking October’s cigarette and pulling a drag from it.

“No. He got lost or something and didn’t have anywhere to go because of the snow. So I let him stay the night with us.” October said with a shrug, he didn’t like that Slade was getting so into his business, “How the fuck do you know him?”

“His youngest brother, Hyde, is my older brother.” Slade said, “Same mama, but he was raised with him instead of us. Lucky bastard.”

“ Small world.” October said apathetically, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“I can’t believe Alabaster Bliss slept on your fucking couch. That’s like saying the devil used your coffee maker this morning.” Slade said pulling into the drive thru of burger king. They were four cars away from even being able to order.

October didn’t reply because he didn’t know what the fuck he was supposed to say to that. 

“You know how he makes his money right?” Slade said picking up on October’s silence. 

“I figured he ran drugs or guns or something.” October said, interested that Slade actually seemed to know something. 

“Saying he runs guns and drugs is like saying the President has a government job. If it wasn’t for Hyde, this guy would be so high up I wouldn’t even know he existed.” Slade said, “ This guy is dangerous October.”

“French toast sticks and hashbrowns” October told him as he pulled out a few crumpled dollars from his blue jeans. Completely ignoring Slade’s dramatics.

It wasn’t like he would ever see the guy again anyways.


	2. Cheap Vodka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t suppose you are calling to hear our gas prices.” October said, hurrying along the invitation he knows is coming. He didn’t like to be on a personal call at work, and it was hard to ignore Patience and Fatima when they were pressed so close to him. 
> 
> “I’m going to be in your city next weekend, and I was wondering if you might make me pancakes again?” Alabaster asks smoothly.
> 
> “I can send you the recipe.”

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Dr. Wilson barked bitterly at a bunch of chatting freshman in the corner of the room. The girls had spent the entire class talking, and it had gotten to the point that even the rest of the class was annoyed with them. Jared, a freshman boy next to October stifled his laughter in his hand, fresh outta high school and not use to hearing teachers curse yet. October rolled his eyes and continued working on his essay for his composition two class. 

A girl on the front row raised her hand. October didn’t really know her name, but was pretty sure it started with a vowel.He knew more about her then he should though, without even speaking to her. He knew she was in a sorority, because of the bright pink jacket she wore everyday. He knew she got her nails done with her mom every friday, so they could have “Us time”. She was going for early education or nursing, she really hadn’t picked yet. She dressed up everyday like she was getting her picture taken and took notes on a bright pink laptop. That wouldn’t have been enough for October to dislike her, but she always felt like she needed to comment on everything. She added an extra five minutes to the class every day just with her bullshit. 

“Is there anyway we could get more like homework assignments?” She asked, “These tests are really hard on my grade.”

October didn’t even study for the tests and he made As. She needed to study better. 

Like the teacher was just going to switch up his syllabus for her personal preference. 

“My class is really simple. We take a test over every chapter each week worth ten points, all the information for those tests can be found in your textbook. Then the final will be made up of all the questions from the chapter tests.” Dr. Wilson managed to say politely. It was obvious it was irritating him though. She probably shouldn’t have waited until Dr. Wilson had already snapped at another student before bringing it up. She was just so blissfully unaware of everyone around her.

“I prefer it this way.” October said not looking up from his essay for comp two, he figured he would throw Dr. Wilson a bone. He enjoyed how Dr. Wilson taught Introduction to Psychology, and he really appreciated that there wasn’t any homework to add to his already full schedule. “I don’t have time for extra homework.”

“What are you so busy doing?” She snapped bitterly. 

“I work sixty hours a week.” October said setting down his pen and looking up at her. As if it wasn’t obvious, he didn’t wear his work uniform to class because it looked fashionable. 

“Why don’t you just work during the summer?” She asked genuinely confused and October had to stop from rolling his eyes at her.

“I also work during the summer.” He said before going back to his paper, “Anyways, the tutoring center is on the second floor of the library and I’m sure they could help you study.”

“Great point October,” Dr. Wilson latched onto, “ The tutoring center is a great resource and you are always welcome to visit me during my office hours.”

October was out the door and down the hall before most of the other students were out of their chairs. He slipped his headphones in and listened to his public domain copy of Beowulf while he walked to work. It was an hour walk, but October couldn’t really see paying a taxi and he hated the idea of asking someone for a ride. He was saving up for a car, and hopefully would have one by the end of the year. Until then, he would just have to brave the cold. 

The shaky voice of the volunteer reader was interrupted by a text message notification. October fished his phone out of his pocket and checked it.

“Y r u not tlking to me?” 

Rhett again, October let out an audible sigh at the text message. He put his phone back in his pocket without replying. 

Missy’s was in it’s usual state of chaos when he arrived.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you to turn that Goddamn music down?” October shouted through the empty gas station as the whole place practically vibrated from the baseline of whatever monstrosity was breaking his eardrums. 

Patience popped in from the backroom quickly, reached over to the stereo system and turning it down by at least half. “Sorry, Boss man.” She said with a playful smile. She was all of nineteen and wouldn’t even be able to work here if it wasn’t a dry county. Her hair was up in a stylish bun because October made her wear it up, otherwise it was way past her hip. Her nails were freshly done and she had trouble using the touch screen on her phone with them. Instead of her uniform, she wore a low cut blue shirt, that didn’t fool October for a second. 

“Where is your uniform?” October scolded as he tossed his backpack on the floor behind the counter. 

“It’s dirty. I’ll wear it tomorrow, I swear.”

October rolls his eyes and points at the empty cups and lids near the soda fountain. “Go do your job please.”

Fatima appeared from the corner, probably attracted to the sound of him yelling. She was at least in her uniform. She was an extremely small twenty-one year old woman. She had her hair down, despite October telling her to keep it up, and her own set of fresh nails. She was his boss’s niece, and she spent ninety percent of her time texting and talking to boys that came in to see her. 

“Hey, Chief, I forgot to clock in yesterday. So I need you to fix it in the computer.” She said, noticing the look of irritation on his face she tacked on a, “Please.”

“That reminds me, Amber called and said that she can’t come in tomorrow because she has court.” Patience says from where she is haphazardly stuffing styrofoam cups into the holder. 

“Did she get arrested last night?” October asked.

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Well the judge didn’t just shoot her a text this morning like ‘Does tomorrow work?’” October sighed, “Can either of you cover?”

They both predictably shook their heads. 

“It’s fine, I didn’t even want to go to biology tomorrow.” October said bitterly. 

He went to his office and began to work on the paperwork for a bit, trying his best to get it all done before the girls had to leave for the day. He would look up at the cameras every once and while to make sure they were still doing alright. Most of the time he just saw them trying to hide their texting in the various corners they thought the cameras didn’t see. He was a couple hours into paperwork before anything really interrupted him.

“Hey Big Papa, there is someone messing around in the dumpsters.” Patience told him from the doorway.

“Tell them to fuck off.” October said with a sigh, already getting up because he knew that he was going to have to anyways. 

“No way.” Patience laughs, “I’m not going out like that.”

“Fine. Just trying to thin out my labor costs a little.” October slung his coat on and made his way out the back door to where the dumpsters were. 

“Thank you Daddy,”Patience calls out after him. 

He walked past where Slade and his boys were parked, they sold drugs in the parking lot and they could be found there at all hours of the night. October didn’t call the police on them and in exchange they kept the tiny gas station from being robbed every other night. 

It was a good trade. A deal that had gone on far longer than Slade and October fucking. 

Slade was leaned against his chevy nova and whistled as October passed. October flipped him off and made his way towards the obvious rustling sound coming from the dumpsters. 

He watched as a woman ripped open the thick black bags and took one of the styrofoam cups out of it. She took the lid off of it and began to gulp down whatever it was that was in it. She was obviously homeless. Her hair knotted and unwashed, her clothing caked in filth. Her shirt was stretched over a full pregnant belly and thin t-shirt leaving her completely exposed to the winter weather. 

“Ma’am,” October said quietly, trying not to startle her. 

It didn’t work she still jumped dropping the cup down the the ground.

“Are you thirsty? I can get you something to drink.” October asked, not surprised when she nodded. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

He walked into the run down gas station, a mixture of amused and irritated when Patience jumped up and started wiping down the counter like she wasn’t just playing on her phone. He went behind the counter and boxed up all the deli chicken that he normally would throw away at this time. He then grabbed a six pack of the cheap bottled water they sold. He brought it out to the lady quickly, worried she wouldn’t be there when he got back.

He gave her the chicken and water, asked her if there was anyone he could call for her. When she shook her head no, he gave her his coat and went back inside. 

“That’s why all these homeless people come here.” Patience said, but didn’t sound actually bothered by it, “They are like cats. You feed them once and they keep coming back.”

“It’s just a shit neighborhood.” October argued irritably, “I don’t think she was drinking out of the trash to “Trick” me into giving her some old ass chicken.”

Their argument was interrupted by the sound of the telephone. Patience and Fatima practically played rock, paper, scissors about who was going to have to answer it before October picked it up. 

“Thank you for calling Missy’s, How may I help you?” October asked glaring daggers at his two useless employees.

“Hello, I’m looking for a Mr. October Andersen.” An unfamiliar man’s voice said, October didn’t recognize it and the first thing that came to mind was a disgruntled customer. The phone was loud enough that both of his employees could hear it and they both put up their hands like it couldn’t possibly have been them. 

“This is him.” October said, getting ready to be yelled at.

“Wonderful. I’m patching you over now. ” The voice said, and there was a long moment of silence.

“October,” Another voice spoke this time, and October recognized this one immediately. 

“Alabaster.” October said, relieved, he doubted that Alabaster was calling to yell at him for the lackluster service or the men’s room being out of paper towels again. 

“Sorry, I hate to call you at work but I didn’t get your number.” Alabaster doesn’t sound sorry at all, and October is suddenly very conscious of the two girls suddenly invading his personal space to overhear the phone call. 

“I might have gave it to you if you weren’t gone when I woke up.” October says coldly, ignoring Patience’s ‘oh damn’ in the background.

“I’m sorry, I should have said good bye.” Alabaster still doesn’t sound particularly sorry, but October’s going to let it go because he suddenly remembered the best hand job he’s ever had in his life. 

“I don’t suppose you are calling to hear our gas prices.” October said, hurrying along the invitation he knows is coming. He didn’t like to be on a personal call at work, and it was hard to ignore Patience and Fatima when they were pressed so close to him. 

“I’m going to be in your city next weekend, and I was wondering if you might make me pancakes again?” Alabaster asks smoothly.

“I can send you the recipe.” October says amused, ignoring the peanut gallery's shock at his boldness. 

“Let me take you out then.” Alabaster misinterprets.

“I was just fucking with you. You can come over.” October confesses, amused that Alabaster thought he was angling for a date. 

“I want to take you out.” Alabaster said decisively.

“That’s not on the table.” October sighed, “You can come over Saturday night after I get off of work.”

“Deal,” Alabaster sounds like he’s smiling, “Let me give you my personal number.”

“Okay.” October said as he took a piece of receipt paper and wrote down the number Alabaster gave him. 

“You get some!” Patience hollered, definitely loud enough for Alabaster to hear. 

…  
“I can’t believe you are fucking mom’s boyfriend,” Kate said from where she sat on the lip of the bathtub, “We should have scheduled an intervention a long time ago.”

October couldn’t comment, he was too busy trying to not cut himself with the twelve for a dollar razor he was running along the underside of his chin. He didn’t have any shaving cream so he was just using a tiny bit of Kate’s body wash and it was a delicate operation. 

He stopped and shook his razor under the faucet for a moment. “It’s just a one time thing, it’s not like we are writing each other love notes and making wedding plans.” He defended casting his eyes over to where Kate was watching him from. 

“I heard you guys fucking in the kitchen.” Kate said, barely stifling her laugh, “He sounded like a keeper.”

“Oh fuck off.” October said blushing down to his bare chest, “I don’t see you having any plans.”

“I’m going to finish my book..” Kate said with a smile, “And listen to some really really loud music.”

He finished shaving off what little facial hair he had and rinsed off. He put on his deodorant and slid on his favorite band t-shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment, trying to decide if there was anything that could make him look any more attractive without trying too hard. Deciding this was as good as it got he went into the kitchen.

He had finished Alabaster’s gin already, so now he was back to drinking the shitty vodka he was accustomed too. They sold it in half gallon plastic jugs for like ten dollars, and it was almost drinkable if it was freezing cold. He took a swig right out of the jug, swallowing it down before taking another. It was disgusting, but October could already feel the heat building in his chest. He took one more big swig before screwing the cap back on and shoving it back in the freezer. 

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked at the clock on the microwave. 12:45

Almost one in the morning.

He had closed the gas station almost an hour ago, but he still felt the stress in his neck and shoulders. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to relax. 

His heart was beating fast in his chest, unwilling to slow no matter how deeply he breathed. 

How many times had he done this? Why would it be different this time? He didn't understand why he was suddenly freaking out like he was virgin all the sudden.

A sharp knock rattled the cheap metal of the screen door. 

He walked over to door and collected himself. He switched the porch light on and opened the door, instantly tensing as he felt the bitter winter air combat the warmth of his space heaters. It was sleeting, a thin layer of it already dusting the top of Alabaster’s overcoat. The older man’s face was unreadable as he moved past October into the warmth of the run down trailer. 

October watched the other man take in the place as he closed the door tightly and flipped the lock. Most of the lights in the place were off. Just the light of the television and the light above the stove casting everything in a dim glow. October had already pulled out the sofa bed and wrestled some dingy sheets on it. Condoms and lube lay in a pile on the end table. 

“Hey,” October greeted quietly, he didn’t know what to say but he had felt like he needed to say something. 

“Hey,” Alabaster parroted, full lips pulled into a smirk. He was being mocked. The man’s eyes finally turned towards him. Predatory. He didn’t look away as he undid the buttons of his overcoat and slid it over his shoulders. He tossed it onto the kitchen counter. 

‘Dangerous’, Slade’s words pulled to the forefront of October’s mind. 

October could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he stood there, sweaty palms gripping the denim of his jeans tightly.

“Do you want something to drink or anything?” October offered nervously, he wasn’t going to be rude just because it was one in the morning and they both were only here for one thing. 

“No, not really” He laughed as he grabbed a fistful of October’s t-shirt and yanked him over to him. Suddenly the few feet between them wasn’t even inches and October could feel the heat radiating off the other man’s body. October made a small noise he hardly recognized as his hands grabbed Alabaster’s arms, the silk of the shirt ruined by his sweaty palms. His toes curled into the cheap green carpet as Alabaster leaned down and captured October’s lips in a kiss.

Alabaster’s other hand wrapped itself in October’s hair, grabbing it tight enough to make October whimper into the kiss. The stinging spread across his scalp, but the steady way Alabaster held him there made his dick stir to life in his jeans. It no longer felt like ‘he’ was kissing ‘Alabaster’. 

He panted open mouth as Alabaster broke off the kiss and slammed him into the front door. The cold wood felt good against his overheated skin even through the thin layer of his t-shirt. Why were they wearing clothes again?

The older man watched him hungrily, but kept his hands flat against the door, keeping October boxed in with strong arms.

October was small. He always had his theories why. None of them very pleasant. 

When he was younger people use to tell him he would grow taller and fill out. Here he was, twenty two, and still barely reaching 5’5. Alabaster towered over him, his muscular body eclipsing October's slim frame. 

October locked eyes with Alabaster and smirked, his hands gripping the ends of his t-shirt and pulling it slowly over his body. 

He let the t-shirt fall to the ground as he looked up at Alabaster. He hoped Alabaster didn't notice the way his hands were shaking. Kind of hoped he did.

Alabaster’s dark black hair was thick and wavy, styled expertly in a way that took October three or four good pulls to ruin. His shaking hands clutched in the dark locks so tightly his knuckles were white while the man’s hot mouth worked on a spot behind his ear that made his legs shake. October could hear the noises coming out of his mouth, wasn’t sure which ones were real and which ones were for Alabaster’s benefit. God, it felt good though. 

He opened his eyes, not sure when he even closed them. The space between them and the pullout bed seemed infinite, he wasn’t sure they were going to make it.

“We really should…"October was interrupted by Alabaster’s mouth against his own. He groaned into the kiss forgetting what he was even trying to say. Alabaster pulled him away from the door, his steady hands undoing the button on October’s jeans and slipping them down his thin hips. He felt a rush of embarrassment as the man’s hands ran along the curves of his bare ass. He didn’t have any underwear that wasn’t threadbare and ugly, so he decided to not wear any at all. 

October reached up and tried to undo a few of the little buttons down Alabaster’s shirt, but his hands were captured and slammed against the door before he could even get one. He looked up at Alabaster, towering over his naked body with nothing to show for it except for slightly messy hair. 

Alabaster released his hands and grabbed him by the back of the neck. He was half lead, half manhandled to the pull out bed, thrown down on it hard enough that the groan that left his mouth was louder than the creaking springs. Alabaster was over him before he could even get himself up, pressing him back down against the mattress. His breath was hot against October’s ear, his voice smooth and unaffected as he whispered, “This okay?”

“Yes,” October whimpered.

It was more than okay.

“You can be rougher. I won’t let you hurt me.” October promised, his moan half smothered when Alabaster pressed him hard against the mattress by the neck. He could feel the slick fabric of Alabaster’s pants against his bare legs, the cuff of the man’s shirt against his neck. He imagined what a picture they made, Alabaster strong and impeccably dressed, holding his small naked body down. 

He heard the sound of Alabaster’s zipper and swallowed hard. This wasn’t his first time. Fuck, it wasn’t even his first time today, but he felt himself tremble with the anticipation of it. He kept his head down against the mattress as Alabaster removed his hand. There was a small rustling, a condom wrapper tearing, the cap of his lube snapping open. 

He gripped the dingy sheets tightly as Alabaster slowly entered him. God, the man was big. October breathed through it as the man slowly fed himself inside, and just stilled as soon as he was entirely in. “Fuck,” October groaned as he turned his head to take some of the pressure off of his neck. 

Some infomercial was on the television, muted, but October now knew that he could get the newest in knife technology for only two payments of 19.99. 

Alabaster took back his attention by slamming inside of him, rocking his entire body forward. 

“Fuck,” October whimpered again, his entire vocabulary reduced to four letters. He could feel the man’s zipper against the curve of his ass, and he couldn’t help but love how dirty it was.

Alabaster’s big hand found its home on the back of October’s neck and gripped it tightly as he began a relentless pace. It hurt, but it was how October wanted it. He liked the bruising slap of flesh against flesh, liked staring sightlessly at the muted tv while clawing his hands in the sheets. 

He didn’t know how long it lasted, almost hypnotized by the continuous rock into his body and the lack of oxygen. He laid there even after they were finished and Alabaster was tucking himself back into his pants. 

He hoped Alabaster left quickly, he was tired and had gotten what he wanted. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired.” It wasn’t a lie, October turned his neck to look at the man and felt a pain so sharp he stopped in his tracks. “Fuck,” October cursed as his hand went to rub his sore neck. 

“Did I hurt you?” Alabaster was tentatively touching October’s neck now, large hand resting over October’s own. 

“No, it hurt earlier too.” October admitted, “I carry all of my stress in my neck.”

Maybe he should have told Alabaster that before he let the man rough him up, but he wanted the man to do it anyways. Fuck the consequences. 

“I’ll be right back.”

October watched as Alabaster left the tiny trailer, only to return a minute later with a large black bag in his hands. 

“I travel a lot, so I always have a bag ready.” Alabaster explained, even though October already assumed. 

October closed his eyes, and didn’t realize he had dozed off until Alabaster was sitting next to him with a glass of water and a couple of pills. He lifted his head just enough to take them, trusting that the man would ask him before giving him anything stronger than a few tylenol. He then let his head fall back down to the mattress. He was so fucking tired. 

Alabaster’s warm fingers brushed the hair away from the nape of October’s neck before he pressed a warm wet washcloth against the skin there. The heat of the washcloth was nice, so warm that it must have been microwaved. How long had he drifted off?

“Stressed?” Alabaster asked softly as the smell of lotion cut through the thick smell of sweat and sex. The man’s lotion slick hands began to rub October’s shoulders, slowly working them back and forth loosening the muscles there patiently. 

“Yes.” October whispered.

It was easy to let his mind wander, to drift in and out of sleep as Alabaster’s large warm hands worked his body. He didn’t even bother rousing when his fingers began to massage his sore neck, carefully and patiently working out the tension and stress. 

When he woke up he was alone on the pull out bed. He was warm, Alabaster must have covered him with one of the spare blankets he kept behind the couch. He fell back asleep as soon as he realized everything was alright.


	3. Tap Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous and mean. He would fit right in with the rest of October’s regular fucks. 
> 
> She was aware how she looked to him though. A tiny girl dressed in a nightgown. No threat to him. 
> 
> She watched the smile pull at his lips, “You caught me.”
> 
> Yes, she did.

KatherineTheOkay: I’m literally dying of thirst  
XxX_ErIkaEatsEmotions_XxX: Get a drink!   
XxX_ErIkaEatsEmotions_XxX: Big Baby  
KatherineTheOkay:Can’t  
KatherineTheOkay: October is banging some dude on our couch  
KatherineTheOkay: “Excuse me guys, don’t mind me, just gonna get some juice”  
XxX_ErIkaEatsEmotions_XxX: RUDDEE!  
KatherineTheOkay: Better out there than in here

It was all par for the course, both her brother’s late night hobby and Erika’s indiscriminate loyalty. It was beginning to get boring. Erika didn’t understand friendship outside of a model that was closer to the mentality of junior high softball. They were on the same team. Kate was Erika’s friend, so she was right, no matter how selfish or unkind Kate was being. It was pleasant sometimes, and unforgivably boring when it wasn’t. It was like screaming into a cave or staring into a mirror, Erika was nothing more than a misguided attempt to give Kate what she wanted.

Kate let out a barely audible sigh and drug her finger across the touchpad and switched tabs.

PeterGFEater: Just finished!  
KatherineTheOkay: What did you think?  
PeterGFEater: Trash. Completely Trash.  
KatherineTheOkay: ….. And?  
PeterGFEater: You know I liked it : P  
PeterGFEater: Because I am also trash.   
KatherineTheOkay: Own it girl

Peter was preferable, if only because he was intelligent. He had an incurable desire to have sex with her though, that tended to be more annoying than something she could profit off of. She didn’t want to sleep with him, and he hardly had anything of value that would make her change her mind. 

She wondered passively if he would believe that she’s never wanted to fuck anyone ever. Probably not, he was much too self absorbed to believe the rejection had anything to do with something that wasn’t related to him. 

Kate glanced down at the time in the corner on the screen, it was way past two a.m. What the fuck were they doing in there? It never took October this long. She tentatively pulled out one of her headphones. She heard….. Nothing. Curious now, she pulled out the other headphone and set her laptop down on the bed. 

She crept quietly through the bedroom and gently opened the door, pushing it open by the inch. She peered out of it, but couldn’t see anything but the back of the couch and the infomercial on the television. Nobody fucking on the pullout at least, unless they were having the quietest sex ever. She pushed the door the rest of the way open and tiptoed through the hall. The bathroom door was open, unoccupied and pitch black. She moved past it and rounded the corner to the kitchen. 

She was expecting it to be empty. 

She did not expect her brother’s fuck buddy to be rummaging through their cupboards. He didn’t see her, so she took the moment to really judge him. Did he really wear that to have sex with him? The effort would be lost on October, or worse, her brother would be disgusted by the man wearing what October made in a year. 

Alabaster was objectively physically attractive, as if someone had given a survey and fashioned him to popular tastes. Tall, fit, nice hair, good teeth. Check, Check, Check. She knew that she should find him attractive, but honestly the thought of him having sex with her only filled her with repulsion. She didn’t understand how people could enjoy sex. Sweaty bodies holding her down while they grunted and came inside her. The thought of it made her nauseous

She didn’t understand her brother’s fascination with it. 

October slept with plenty of young men, but out of all of the random fucks, he had a few repeat performances. Rhett and Slade the most notable. Both dangerous young men with a mean streak a mile wide. She took in the intense calculated way the man was searching through their cabinets and began to wonder if her brother was going to make a habit of him. They have already fucked twice, and that was one more than the usual score. 

She watched him move on to another cupboard before she decided she had seen enough. 

She tossed her hands in the air, “Take anything you want, just don’t hurt me mister.”

She could be cute when she wanted to. 

Cold calculating eyes landed on her and it took him just a second too long to slip his mask back on. She watched as he debated how to handle this. Watched his face morph into something that looked like playful embarrassment and amusement at her joke. 

Dangerous and mean. He would fit right in with the rest of October’s regular fucks. 

She was aware how she looked to him though. A tiny girl dressed in a nightgown. No threat to him. 

She watched the smile pull at his lips, “You caught me.”

Yes, she did. 

She closed the distance between them, her eyes scanning the living room as she had a better view of it. She relaxed when she saw her brother curled up asleep on the pull-out mattress. She was infinitely fond of him, in a way that no other person has ever inspired out of her. He looked like a illustration of an angel. Soft blonde hair in wisps around his face, so light it might as well be white in the glow of the tv. His small body even smaller curled up for warmth. Relaxed in a way he could never manage when awake. 

He had a distinct lack of developed secondary sex characteristics, probably the result of pregnancy complications or lack of nutrition when they were growing up. He was small in height and in general size, and though he was small his body had a greater percentage of body fat than muscle mass. His skin softer than it should be and only lightly dusted in body hair. It made him subpar when held up to the standards of society, but it was distinctly aesthetically pleasing. 

Kate understood that she had the same sort of stunted growth. She never grew hips or breasts, her own body hair just as sparse as her brothers. Just another setback. 

“What are you doing?” Kate pitches her voice a little higher than normal, angles her body purposefully closer to him.

Not a threat. 

“Snooping” Alabaster admitted.

Kate looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. 

“I wanted to make sure your brother had enough food.” Alabaster continued, “I’m pretty fond of him.”

No, you’re not. You don’t know him.

 

She keeps the thought to herself, “He would be furious if he found out.”

“I know.”

No, you don’t. You don’t know him.

 

She swallows down the bitterness, because honestly she can use him. 

Where her brother saw a muscular body for an evening of distraction, Kate saw disposable income and guilt she could manipulate. 

She forgave October for his vices, he would have to forgive her for hers. 

She went over to the cabinets and took out a cup and filled with cold water from the tap. She took a long drink of it before making her decision. 

“He’s been struggling lately,” She lies, “Our electric bill is really high in the winter.”

They were poor, but there was plenty of things that would go before October ever let them go hungry. The internet, the television, the laptop. If the man really did stick around he would learn that October was excellent at surviving. The man didn’t know him yet though, so Kate would take advantage while she could. It was Alabaster’s fault anyways, claiming to feel things for her brother but not knowing him well enough to know that October handled his own business. 

“Should I give him money?” Alabaster asked. 

“He won’t take it.”

That wasn’t a lie. 

“What would you suggest then?”

Those dark calculating eyes were on her. She didn’t think he suspected her of foul play, she was beginning to imagine that just about everything in the man’s life must undergo the same ruthless analysis.

“October wouldn’t waste groceries if they were already here. He’s stubborn, but so practical it will drive you crazy” She offered up, the contemplation in her voice sounded more like musing than an actual suggestion. She hoped the implication was obvious though. She shouldn’t have to do all of the work. 

“I wouldn’t know what to buy.” He made the jump without her help. 

“If you want I can go with you, I wouldn’t mind” 

She offers up so generously, like she wasn’t telling him to fill her own cabinets with food. Like October wouldn’t hate him for this. He would be upset at Kate, but he would be furious with Alabaster. 

That was just a bonus.

It was Alabaster’s own fault. If he understood her brother he wouldn’t fall for it. The man just wanted to sink his claws into him, wanted October to need him. Wouldn’t it be so easy for him if October needed the one thing he had in excess? Money that was hardly pocket change for him fulfilling the most basic levels of need. If he was going to be lazy he deserved her brother’s wrath. 

“We can go now if you want. While October is asleep.” She said with a smile she was sure was reassuring. 

“That would be great.” 

She went back into the bedroom and tossed her nightgown into the laundry basket. She slid on some blue jeans and a t-shirt, she didn’t bother with a bra because she hardly needed one. She used her fingers to wrestle her curls into a ponytail and slid on some tennis shoes. She put on her coat, a big light pink thing that she’s had since the fifth grade and hadn’t grown out of. 

When she came back into the living room Alabaster had his overcoat on and was standing at the doorway. She caught him looking at her brother. 

You can’t have him. 

“Are you ready to go?” She asked with a smile. 

The black vehicle in front of the trailer was like out of a movie, she was never good with cars so she didn’t know what it was called but even she knew that it must have cost a fortune. There were two men in the front seats and she just watched as the one in the passenger seat got out of the car and opened the back door. 

“Who are they?” Kate asked as she took in their crisp clean no nonsense suits and the wireless headsets in their ears. 

“Close protection officers”

“Close protection officers?” She found herself repeating as she followed him down to the car. 

“Bodyguards.”

“Where to?” Alabaster asked as he made himself comfortable. His body language reunited her hatred for him. He draped one arm along the back of the seat, high enough above her that it wasn’t touching her body but was still in her space. His legs were draped openly, taking up far more space than necessary. He wasn’t touching her, but he was much too self assured. Cocky. 

“Walmart is probably the only place open.”

Another black vehicle that matched the one they were in was parked at the entrance of the trailer park, as they left it pulled out after them. If Alabaster noticed or cared he didn’t make it known, he pulled out a wallet and seemed to be looking through it. 

“I have about three hundred dollars in cash, will that be enough?” He asked genuinely. Oblivious. 

If she was buying groceries for two months. They never spent more than fifty dollars a week on groceries. She doubted he wanted her brother taken care of that long. She assumed that Alabaster wanted her brother cared for, but not given enough to actually give him a leg up. 

She was going to take everything he was willing to give. He wouldn’t be willing to do it again, when he learns how mad it’s going to make October.

She wouldn’t want to be him. 

“I think that should be enough.” She gave him a soft smile and rested her small hand on his arm.

“Thank you so much for your help”

He wouldn’t be thanking her tomorrow. 

Stupid Motherfucker

He turned towards her and rested his hand on her leg, just a little above her knee. 

Greedy. 

It wasn’t a pass at her, not one that required a response. He was just acclimating her to his touch. She willed herself to relax, he would notice if she didn’t. She shifted just a little closer to him.

His fingers spread a little further up her leg. 

The parking lot was almost completely empty and the lines separating the parking spaces were almost completely covered by the sleet that had been falling since earlier that evening. She allowed Alabaster to help her step out of the car, wincing a bit as the cold chilled her cheeks and fingers. The sleet quickly soaked through the thin material of her shoes and she felt it seeping into her socks. 

The other car pulled in beside them and several men dressed in the same suits as the bodyguards climbed out. She watched as they wordlessly got in position around Alabaster. She didn’t know if she could handle that all the time, but Alabaster didn’t even seem to notice. She followed his lead easily and allowed him to take them into the building, wrapping her small arm around his own.

Walmart was empty in a way that it never was during the day. Employees were in almost every aisle with pallets stacked higher than they were. They didn’t look up from what they were doing, just continued to mindlessly place things on shelves. 

Kate took a cart and checked to make sure it didn’t have a squeaky wheel or intense pull in either direction. Alabaster was looking around with such curiosity that Kate almost wondered if he had ever been inside of a store like this. 

“Do you ever go grocery shopping?” Kate asked as she began to walk them down to the back of the store. She would go from the back to the front. It was the best way to make sure that she got everything she needed. 

“No, I believe the chef takes care of that.” Alabaster said as they arrived at Kate’s destination. He didn’t seem bothered by the question, and if it made him uncomfortable that he had a chef while the man he had fucked an hour ago couldn’t afford food he didn’t show it. 

“Did your parents have money?” Kate asked as she put milk and cheese in her cart. She didn’t want to buy a lot of perishables, but there was some that they needed. They moved a long to the meat section and she proceeded to put enough frozen chicken breast and hamburger in her cart that she wasn’t entirely sure that it would all fit in their freezer. Meat was expensive though, and she wouldn’t get another chance to do this after October jumped down Alabaster’s throat.

“Yes. My Grandfather immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. He didn’t have a penny to his name his entire life, but my Father and my Uncles did well for themselves. My father didn’t start having children until he was in his fifties and well established, and I’ve never known a lifestyle different than the one I live now. My mother was an actress much younger than my father, raised in a home not much different than your own.” When Alabaster spoke it almost sounded like a script, something carefully planned out. No emotion in it at all. 

“Was your mother in anything I would have seen?” Kate asked taking them down an aisle of baking goods. 

Alabaster laughed, “ She was in adult films. Do you watch a lot of vintage porn?”

Kate hated that she blushed a little bit. 

She looked long and hard at Alabaster’s face, but didn’t see even a trace of embarrassment off him. He seemingly didn’t care that his mother was essentially a prostitute. It took her by surprise, because she thought he would want to cover up all those little blemishes in his life. Yet, he had offered it willingly, jokingly. As if she was the one who should be embarrassed by her own prudishness. 

“What do you do for a living?” She asked, suddenly very aware that she didn’t know. 

“A little this,” Alabaster said with a smirk, “ A little that.” 

October was always attracted to dangerous men.

It was interesting to Kate how he worded it. If he didn't want her to know he could have rattled off any lie he wanted to. A few minutes talking about investing or business and Kate would have dropped it and probably never mentioned it again. 

He wanted her to know he was dangerous.

Why would he want her to know he was dangerous? 

Maybe it was a default for him. Honestly, what could he get out of intimidating a little girl a quarter of his size with no friends or family?

She had a few theories to test out. 

“How did you meet my mom?” She asked as they went through the pastas and rice. She gathered lots of these. They wouldn't go bad and they had plenty of space for it all.

“I met her at one of my brother Brian’s parties.”

Plausible place to meet her mother.

“Do you go to his parties a lot?” she asked, because anonymous sex aside he didn't really seen like the type. 

“Almost never.” He confirmed for her.

“Did you know our father?” She asked trying to seem more interested in jars of sauce and soup. 

“My brother Hyde did. I didn't personally. October said you both didn't really know him?” Alabaster asked keeping the same light conversational tone she was. 

“We talked to him twice. Once was a visit to McDonald's when we were seven. Then he called us on Father's Day two years ago drunk and crying.” Kate was sure her apathy and disgust were apparent in her voice. “Mom didn't try to keep him away from us, he just didn't want anything to do with us. We didn’t even go to his funeral.”

She didn’t want him to think she found him suspicious, but plenty of questions were already popping up in her head. 

Why didn’t he have any bodyguards with him when October brought him home the first time?

Why didn’t he seem more bothered that there mother was missing? Didn’t he go out with her long enough that she introduced him to her children?

Why would he want Kate intimidated? 

“Have you heard from your mom recently?” Alabaster asked in a way that suggested he was just keeping the conversation going, rather than in any way that would suggest he actually cared about her answer. 

“No, but it’s not rare for her to disappear for a while.” Kate explained as she added peanut butter and coffee into her cart. Their mom had been gone longer than a month now, and honestly she knew that October was starting to get worried. He wouldn’t say anything, but a perpetual unease seemed to permeate from him. 

She hoped she was dead in a ditch somewhere. Some unclaimed body. Jane Doe. 

“Have you heard from her?” She just barely remembered to ask. 

“Not in over a month” He answered easily. 

She wasn’t sure why she did it but she began to imagine that it was Alabaster that made their mother disappear. More of a thought exercise than anything. She fundamentally didn’t trust the man and something about him made her particularly uneasy, but she wasn’t ready to entertain that he murdered their mother. She just thought for a moment about if it was possible.   
A chill ran down her spine when she realized just how possible it was. The man obviously had money. The vague way he hinted at what he did implied criminal connections. 

It would have been effortless to make a nobody like their mother disappear. 

Why would someone like that want to intimidate someone like Kate? The question kept coming back to her.

What did she have power over? 

She remembered the almost too intimate way Alabaster was watching October sleep when she came back into the kitchen. 

She wondered if it really was as simple as not wanting her to get in the way of him taking advantage of her brother. 

It was laughable. 

October was attracted to dangerous older men in a way that was so freudian it was embarrassing. The only thing that would advertise his daddy issues more clearly would be if he actually got a tramp stamp. 

October never listened to her. If he did he wouldn’t still be fucking Slade and Rhett.

She rested her hand on his arm and smiled up at him, “Thank you for worrying about my brother.”


	4. Cheap Beer

October woke up needing a cigarette and a piss, and he spent a good five minutes trying to decide which one he wanted more before he even bothered to get up. He felt like he had a hangover, even though he had barely had a few shots. He tossed aside the threadbare blanket and nearly crawled back under it as his naked body was exposed to the freezing air. He quickly scrambled over to the space heaters and turned them on. Kate probably came to check on him when he didn't come to bed the night before, and must have turned off the space heaters to keep them from dying in their sleep.

He played hide and go seek with his clothes. After he won he dragged the freezing cold denim over his ass and pulled the wrinkled shirt over his head. He slipped his shoes on without socks and grabbed his cigarettes from the end table. He looked around for his coat for a moment before remembering he gave it away, he settled for wrapping the blanket from the pullout around him.

He smoked as quickly as he could.

When he walked back inside he glanced over at the oven clock, 2:00 pm, man he slept in.

It was really the first time that he looked in the kitchen. He didn't know know how he hadn't noticed the dozens upon dozens of white plastic bags that littered the table and counters. He kicked off his shoes and tossed the blanket back down on the pull out before he approached the kitchen table.

What the actual fuck?

October was almost too tired to deal with this. Debated going back to bed and just putting it off.

He looked in one of the bags and saw that it was completely full of pasta and rice. The one beside it full of canned goods. Where the hell did it come from? Toilet paper, shampoo, dish soap. He kept looking until he came across a receipt shoved in a bag full of cereal.

It looked like it went on for a mile, finally ending at a total of three hundred and thirteen dollars and fifty seven cents. Jesus.

Alabaster.

October moved back into the living room and sat on the edge of the pullout. He didn't really know what he felt, but it felt bad. He already felt weak and pathetic for falling asleep the night before, vulnerable in a way that he honestly didn't want the stranger to see. Now he felt positively violated.

And cornered.

How was he supposed to say no to someone who spent so much money on him? What made Alabaster think he had the right to do something like this?

October felt like the woman rummaging through the trash. He didn't like the idea that someone felt like they had to help him.

He was doing fine. They were warm. They were fed.

Who the fuck did Alabaster think he was?

He angrily grabbed for his cell phone and texted Alabaster.

"How the fuck do you think that's okay?"

He barely had to wait a moment before he got a text back.

"Call."

He hit the call button almost instantly after he read the man's text. He didn't want to lose his nerve. He could already feel his anger cooling into complacency.

Alabaster answered by the second ring, "One moment, I would like to be somewhere more private"

That pissed October off all over again.

"Why the fuck would you tell me to call if you weren't ready for me to call?" October said bitterly. If Alabaster heard him, he didn't respond.

October decided he kind of wanted more privacy too, if Kate was awake she would be able to hear every word he said. So while he was waiting on Alabaster, he moved into his mother's room.

Ninety percent of the time he just pretended his mother's room didn't exist. Kate was always begging him to kick their mother out and move into it, but it just didn't feel right.

Their mother's room was ridiculous. It was probably twice the size of the twins room and the centerpiece was a beat up queen size mattress with no sheets covered by a large fleece blanket with a print of a half naked Indian woman in a completely racist headdress. Above the bed was a giant dream catcher with a picture of a wolf in the middle with fake eagle feathers and a fake arrow head hanging from the strings. Pinned over the window was another fleece blanket,which might have been pretending to be tribal pattern. There had been other decorations on the walls at one point in time, white silhouettes stood out on smoke yellow walls. The floor was covered in clothing, piles deep enough that it was hard to see the stained carpet beneath them. On the dresser there was a liquor bottle collection with nothing special in it, just cheap bottles of vodka and whisky, and a couple gas station shot glasses from places like 'Scratch Ankle, Alabama' and 'Toadsuck, Arkansas'

October waded through the clothing on the floor and plopped down on to the bed.

"Now, what appears to be the problem?" Alabaster's smooth voice broke the silence. He sounded more like a retail manager talking to a customer than someone October had fucked a few hours ago. It pissed October off all over again.

"You know what my fucking problem is." October snapped before he could really stop himself.

"I'm assuming this is about the groceries." Alabaster almost sounded bored with him.

"Why the fuck would you think that was okay?" October is sure that if they weren't talking over the phone, October would have already decked the mother fucker.

"Why wouldn't it be okay?" Alabaster responded, bored and exasperated.

"You know."

Because of course the asshole knew. Everyone knew not to do shit like that.

"Pride is no reason to let your sister go hungry"

Alabaster might as well as slapped him. He couldn't respond for a moment. When he finally could it was barely above a whisper.

"I've been taking care of us for fifteen years, alone, just fine."

"It was your sister that asked me to buy the groceries in the first place."

October swallowed hard, he suddenly felt even worse than he did before.

"Just because she asked you doesn't mean you had to do it." October bit back, he knew he was being petulant.

"I don't have to do anything." Alabaster said matter of fact.

October knew he was losing this fight and it was time to retreat.

"I've got to let you go, I've got all these 'groceries' to put away." October said hoping to get the last word in.

Alabaster ignored him, " I'm sorry that you are so upset."

Any of the anger that October still felt disappeared to make room for all the self-consciousness and doubt.

"I-I uh… I didn't know that Kate asked you." October said softly, his own way of apologizing. He was so humiliated. First his sister begs the man for grocery money, and then October yells at him for it. Jesus.

"You should let me take you out next weekend. So I can apologize to you properly."

October really didn't want to go out, but he was embarrassed enough that he probably would have agreed to anything.

"Uh yeah okay."

After he hung up he just laid on his mother's bed feeling exhausted and defeated. He felt his throat suddenly burning and tears trying to well up in his eyes. He stared up at the ceiling, keeping his eyes open until the tears that were trying to build disappeared. He had thought they were doing alright. Obviously, they weren't doing great, but surely they weren't doing so bad that they had to ask a complete stranger for money.

He didn't know what else to do.

He could get another job.

But, he barely made it as is. There was no way that he could still go to school, and he doubted he could find a job within walking distance of their trailer that would work around his already full schedule. Maybe he could work overnights?

He ran his hands along the soft fleece of the blanket beneath him, and for just a moment thought of his mother. Where was she?

His thoughts kept tumbling to darker and darker places, until finally he decided that if he didn't get up and do something he was going to lose it.

He pulled out his phone again and texted Slade.

"Pick me up"

The reply was almost instant.

"It's fucking 2."

Slade didn't usually go to bed until seven or eight in the morning. He was probably still in bed. He didn't give October anytime at all to feel guilty or change his mind though.

"OMW" Slade sent before October could even reply.

October went into the bathroom and used the sink and a washcloth to wash his armpits and dick really quickly. He then brushed his teeth and put on deodorant. That was all he had time to do before he heard a honk come from outside. He hurried outside and jumped into the passenger side of Slade's chevy nova. He moved as quickly as he could but he couldn't really outrun the chilly winter air.

Slade was driving before October even got the door shut. October looked at him and wasn't surprised to see him in nothing but faded black pajama pants and a leather coat. The only thing protecting his chest from the freezing air was patches of dark black curls and he wasn't even wearing shoes.

"What's got you in such a hurry?' Slade asked before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"Just had to get out of there." October said to the window, making sure his tone was as dismissive as possible.

"Mmm" Slade made a little noise of understanding and didn't say anything more on the subject.

Slade's house was just a few blocks away from October's, still in the shitty part of town but in an actual neighborhood. The yards were full of broken down refrigerators and busted up cars but at least there were yards. There were actual children playing in the ditches and dogs chained up to trees. There were cars in just about every driveway and actual blinds covering windows. It wasn't a lot, but it was so much nicer than where October lived.

Slade's house was much bigger than many of the ones around it and as they pulled up to it October felt himself once again wishing it was his. It would be nice if anyone put any effort into it. If anyone knew how to take care of it. Instead, it just slowly fell apart. It needed a fresh coat of paint, the white looked more like a dingy brown, and it had something growing up the sides of it.

Grass was slowly battling with the concrete driveway, it had cracked it in several places and was peeking through triumphantly. The front yard was mostly weeds and the majority of it was was covered by a enormous above ground pool that was falling apart on itself because Slade forgot to take it down for the winter. Dead birds and squirrels would be fished out as soon as the heat made them start smelling.

Slade parked in the driveway because the garage was full of car parts, tools, and so much junk you could barely walk into it.

They both jumped out of the car and quickly made their way up the crumbling steps. Then they had to wait a second while Slade messed with all the locks. The door and the locks were the only new things about the place.

"Hey, Forgot to warn ya. I have Ren this weekend." Slade said as he opened the door and they scrambled into the warmth.

Central heat and air. October let the warmth rush over him as what Slade said finally caught up to him.

"That's like the second time this month." October said surprised.

"Yeah. Bitch gets a new boyfriend and suddenly I need to spend more time with our kid." Slade spat bitterly,. "No offense sweety, you know I love having you. Your mom is just a cunt."

Serenity looked like she was so focused on her phone that she might not have even heard him. "I know, Daddy," She finally said without even looking up from what she was doing. She was thirteen and barely had anything to do with anything that wasn't her new iphone.

Serenity tried to look much older than she was and was terrifyingly good at it. Barely pushing thirteen and if October didn't know better he would swear that she was closer to seventeen. She lounged in skin tight jeans and a black crop top that was hardly weather appropriate and showed most of her flat stomach. She wore thick heavy make-up and her black glossy hair down her back in waves.

"That's why you don't have kids when your fifteen," Slade said from experience, "Your stuck with whatever dumb bitch poked holes in the condom or in your case whatever fucking idiot doesn't wrap it before he taps it."

Serenity rolled her eyes like it wasn't the first time she had heard that.

"Hey, Serenity" October greeted softly, not really in the mood to talk to anyone, least of all Slade's moody teenage daughter.

"Hey, October" Serenity returned flirtatiously, looking up at her phone just long enough to smile at him.

"We are going to be in the bedroom," Slade said as they walked past her, "Don't bother us."

"Whatever," She said, "Can we have pizza for dinner?"

"Yeah, Sure Baby, Order breadsticks too." Slade called behind him. Without missing a beat he turned towards October "Grab yourself a beer."

"Not my cheerbeer!" Serenity called from the other room.

The inside of Slade's house was much nicer than the outside. Brand new furniture covered every room. Slick black leather sectionals, huge flat screen tvs, and state of the art appliances all nestled in a decaying house. There was a distinct lack of clutter in every room, but there were also no signs that anybody lived there either. No family photos, no knicknacks, not even art on the wall. There were thick layers of dust on the windowsills and the ceiling fans, probably last cleaned long before Slade owned the place.

Slade bedroom was no different than the rest of the place. He had a huge heated waterbed haphazardly made up with tacky red silk sheets and a monster of a flat screen tv. There were candles on the nightstands and dressers that October was pretty sure had never been lit.

"You and Kate fighting?" Slade asked as he rummaged around in his nightstand. October watched as the man pulled out a large wooden box and flipped it open. He looked through half a dozen glass containers each containing nuggets of weed until he found the one he was looking for. He then put a piece of it in a hand grinder and began to grind it up.

"Not exactly." October said irritably before taking a drink of his beer. Did she have to know he was pissed for it to technically be called fighting?

Slade tenderly packed the bowl of a pipe in a way that was much more focused than anything else October ever saw him do. When he was done he handed the pipe over to October and a cheap bic lighter.

"This shit will chill you out." Slade explained as he put up the rest of his gear. He grabbed his x-box controller from off the nightstand and used it to put Netflix on. Some horror film October had never seen.

Slade stripped out of his pajama pants and slid onto the waterbed while October took a big hit off of the pipe.

Calling Slade his best friend would give anybody the wrong idea. "Best" would imply a level of quality that just wasn't there. Friend would imply that they did anything other than get high and suck each other off. It didn't make it any less true though. Slade was his best friend.

He was pretty sure he was Slade's best friend too and he didn't know if that made it any better or just a whole lot sadder.

"Alabaster was at your place again." Slade said as he grabbed the pipe from October.

"Yeah." October said almost in warning.

"Your mom back yet?"

"No."

Slade took a big hit from the pipe and filled the tense air between them with the sound of his coughs. When he was finished he set the pipe down on the dresser and drowned out the last of his coughs in his beer.

"You fucking him?' Slade asked trying to sound casual, his voice hoarse from all the coughing.

"Yep." October said as dismissively as he could manage without being outright hostile.

"What did he do?" Slade asked trying to stay calm, but October could already see him beginning to get angry. It didn't matter whether or not what Alabaster did actually deserved any anger. Slade was mad just because October was, and there was something oddly comforting about that.

"Bought me three hundred dollars worth of food while I was asleep." October said clenching his beer in his hands tightly, trying not to let on to Slade just how upset he was.

"In your house? Without you saying so? Who the fuck does that prick think he is?"

It soothes October that Slade instantly understands without him having to explain it, it makes him feel a little less crazy about being mad in the first place. He didn't like being manipulated though, didn't like the idea that Slade might be exaggerating his anger in order to get closer to October.

"Kate asked him." October said mostly into his beer.

"If that cunt is so worried about what you are doing tell her to get a fucking job." Slade said angrily.

"It's not that simple." October took a swig of his beer, frustrated by the desire to defend Kate at the same time he wanted to vent.

"I will have a talk with him."

Oh fuck no. That's not going to happen.

"Why in the hell would I want you to talk to him?" October asked exasperated as he plopped down on the bed hard enough to jostle Slade.

"Because you're too much of a bitch too."

"I already talked to him."

"Bullshit."

October sighed and reached across Slade to grab the pipe off his nightstand. If Slade was going to be an asshole at the very least he could share his weed. He fumbled around with the lighter until he finally got it lit and took a heavy pull off of it.

"Well?"

"'Well' what?"

"You tell stories slower than my grandma"

"Oh sorry, I've been distracted trying to remember when this became your fucking business."

October turned his attention back to the pipe and took another good hit off of it. He passed it on to Slade as he coughed out his lungs. He drowned the last of his coughing in the last swallow of his beer.

He looked at the empty beer for a long hard moment before groaning loudly and pulling himself out of bed. He wandered into the kitchen without even bothering to tell Slade where he was going.

Everything was starting to get pleasantly warm and hazy, the effects of the weed obvious now that he was walking around. He saw a bottle of whisky sitting on the counter and decided that it would be a much better time. He had already taken a couple of swigs from the whisky bottle by the time that he made it back into the bedroom.

Slade was leaning back against the headboard when October walked back in. The mood had obviously shifted and Slade was unapologetically leering now. October tilted the whisky bottle up and took another swig out of it and Slade's mouth curled into a particularly predatory smirk.

"You're starting to feel good now." Slade told him. He wasn't wrong, October was starting to feel very good. He liked the way Slade's eyes felt on him and the growing warmth that was spreading through his whole body.

October nodded and lazily took another drink from the whisky before setting it down on the tv stand.

"Yeah, I can tell." Slade breathed out heavily, "Come here baby."

Slade only called him baby when they were fucking. It was starting to have a Pavlovian effect on October's cock which had started stirring to life as soon as Slade had started speaking.

Slade was a predator, use to seducing shy uncomfortable girls barely past their eighteenth birthday. It was easy to see in the way he was coaxing October over in that smooth low voice like he might run if Slade wasn't careful enough.

October grinned playfully and stood his ground, his fingers curling at the edge of his t-shirt and slowly inching it up his body. When he finally pulled it off Slade was watching him hungrily, leaning forward like he might just come get October.

October took a few tentative steps towards the bed, teasingly running his hands down his chest until they settled at the top of his jeans.

Whatever movie Slade had thrown on must have been getting exciting. The music was starting to swell, filling the quiet room with off key violins and heavy breathing.

Slade leaned forward and pulled his legs under him until he was standing on his knees. He was still moving slowly, inching closer to October.

"Come here, Baby."

October took another step forward and began to unbutton his jeans. The button popped open and he began to languidly work the zipper down at an achingly slow pace.

A low growl filled the room, but October wasn't sure if it was coming from the tv or Slade.

He slid the jeans down until he was completely exposed. He ran his hand down the shaft of his cock, it was already starting to get hard just from the way Slade was looking at him.

October's knees banged into the bed frame at the same time a scream erupted from the tv. He turned to watch just as some pretty young actress was repeatedly stabbed by a butcher knife. Her screaming ear splitting until it turned into bloody gargling.

It distracted him just long enough for Slade to drag him down onto the bed. He let out a hiss of pain as his knee hit the bed frame again as Slade maneuvered him so that he was pressed face down into the sheets. He groaned loudly when Slade grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back.


	5. Sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mini chapter, so I am posting two this week.

‘The newest in knife techno-’

Click

‘I think Jenny knew about-’

Click

‘I don-’

Click

Kate turned the tv off and threw the remote across the couch. She stood up and checked her phone (nothing) and went into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, looked at all the food, closed it and then proceeded to open every cabinet. When she had finished looking in the very last cabinet, she opened the fridge again and stared into it. 

She slammed the fridge closed and paced back into the living room. She plopped down on the couch again, debated turning on the tv, and then stood back up. 

She checked her phone again (nothing), and then scrolled sightlessly through her social media as though maybe her phone would only ring if she was using it. Then she tossed it facedown almost violently onto the end table, maybe it would only ring if she wasn’t looking at it. 

She looked at the clock for what must have been the fifth time in the last ten minutes. 

1:45

Where the fuck is he?

Kate glared over at October’s phone, which laid abandoned on the kitchen table, ‘forgotten’ by her brother. He probably left it there purposefully. He knew how worried she would be and he just left his phone so she couldn’t call or text him. She walked over to it and looked at his messages. 

Kate ran her finger over the cracked glass and the dirty frame. October really needed another phone, she remembered when he brought this one more than a year ago for twenty dollars on black friday. She doubled tapped the screen and it lit up, the wallpaper was the same plain blue screen that is came with and there was no lock on it. There was a little orange bubble on the message icon clearly indicating that October had 12 missed text messages. 

She tapped on the icon and the messages popped up. 

Rhett: Hey  
Rhett: hy  
Rhett: jus wanna tlk  
Rhett: m srry  
Rhett: plz just fucking tlk to me  
Rhett: we need to tlk  
Rhett: Now.  
Rhett:?  
Rhett:?  
Rhett: CUNT   
Rhett: im just trying to be nice  
Rhett: and say sorry

How fucking desperate

Kate scrolled through the messages and took deep pleasure in reading Rhett’s poorly worded pathetic scrambles for her brother’s attention. October was done with him. Finally. No amount of abusive begging was going to change her brother’s mind. Nothing ever did. 

She was so excited that Rhett was out of the picture that she almost forgot why she was snooping on her brother’s phone to begin with. She looked at the messages he last replied to.

He was with Slade, no big deal, but the time stamp said that Slade picked him up almost twelve hours ago. 

Where is he

She grabbed her phone and tried calling Slade. It rang twice before she was sent to voicemail. She new he saw her calling. The guy was a fucking drug dealer, he was always on his fucking phone. 

She was angry enough that she called Rhett. 

The phone rang for a long time before he finally answered. “Yeah?” he answered, voice gruff and frustrated. 

“Hey, this is Kate, October’s sister. Is he over there with you?” She asked quietly, keeping her voice nice and sweet. 

“No, haven’t seen him” Rhett clipped shortly. Kate had to give him a little bit of credit, he kept his voice very apathetic. If she hadn’t just spent ten minutes reading his pathetic groveling she would almost believe he didn’t care. 

“Oh, sorry, he must be over at Slade’s.”

“What the fuck would he be doing with Slade?”

“I don’t know. They’ve been hanging out a lot together lately”

She could feel his anger growing through the phone, he just needed one more little push. 

“Sorry, I’ll try calling Slade again. He didn’t pick up last time, they must be busy doing something. Thanks again.”

She hung up the phone and relaxed back into her seat. 

2:05

Her brother would be home soon.


	6. Cheap Beer

‘The environmental impact of nanomedicine is currently-’

“You motherfucking piece of shit,” Slade shouted into his headset as he tossed his controller down on the bed and reached for his beer. October looked up and watched as the screen changed from a scene of Slade’s dead character to one of his teammate ducking behind a sand colored building. His teammate didn’t last much longer than he did before the poor guy was shot in the head by a sniper. 

. Slade noticed his attention and turned towards him, “How’s the paper coming?”. 

“Good.” October answered instantly. He was leaned back against the headboard with his legs stretched out long and Slade’s laptop sitting on his lap. “I should be finished pretty soon.” He tagged on, not that he was really bothering Slade, but it was unusual for them to spend this much time together. Not only that, but it was already two in the morning, and October had to be at work at seven. 

‘The environmental impact of nanomedicine is currently-’

The sound of glass shattering broke October’s concentration, his head jerked up in time to see Slade jump up. 

“What the fuck?” Slade yanked back his curtains to look out the window. 

“OctoberoctoberOCTOBER” A man’s voice hollered outside, loud and clearly drunk. 

“Motherfucker threw a bottle at my house,” Slade shouted as he reached out and grabbed his pajama pants and pulled them over his body, “He’s fucking dead.”

Slade was already out of the bedroom before October could even set the laptop down and put on the pair of pajama pants Slade had lent him. October quickly followed behind until he was standing on the front porch and Slade was out in the front yard. 

Rhett was standing, swaying, in the front yard. He looked like he was in bad shape. The guy always looked a little trashy, but tonight was worse than usual. He was wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off that had beer spilled all down the front of it and his dirty work coat. His usually fluffy brown hair was slick to his face with sweat and there was either saliva or beer dripping from his beard. Normally, he was attractive to October, like some kind of caricature of a ‘real man’ looks like. He couldn’t see it now. 

“Go home to Holly-Beth and the kids. You’re embarrassing yourself, Rhett” October yelled down from the porch, sympathetic but unmoving. He knew that he wasn’t going to actually get through to the man and that it wasn’t going to be long before the punches started. 

“My daughter is sleeping inside, you need to go home Rhett, before I beat your ass” Slade said, unhelpfully, but keeping a good few feet away. They had all gone to the same highschool, but October was pretty sure Slade only vaguely remembered Rhett. They never hung out, just had a few friends of friends in common. 

“This guy October,” Rhett gestured wildly towards Slade, “You’ve been fucking ignoring me for this guy.”

“Go home Rhett” October said softly. 

“You heard him,” Slade said as he started moving in on Rhett, “Go home”

“Stay the fuck out of this,” Rhett turned towards Slade and closed in those last few inches.

“How about this. If you don’t fucking get out of my yard I’m going to break your fucking face, you get that you wasted piece of shit?”

Rhett threw the first punch and it just barely connected. Slade staggered back a bit and then went after Rhett. They grappled against each other for just a few moments before Slade got a good hold on him and started punching him in the stomach. Then his hands were in Rhett’s hair and he was ruthlessly slamming the man’s face down into his knee. October thought he was going to have to intervene, but after a minute Slade threw Rhett to the ground and stormed off to the side. It seemed to take real restraint for Slade to move away, his whole body still tense with anger. Eventually, he managed to calm down enough to climb up on the porch and go back inside. 

From the poor lighting from the porch October could make out Rhett’s face. It was covered in blood, it poured from his mouth and nose, and his face already looked like it was beginning to swell. He was holding his face and sobbing out in a way that made October nauseous. He waited on the porch a minute to make sure that Rhett could stand and that he was on his way home. He lived in the same neighborhood, so October was sure that he would make it fine once he started walking. 

When he went inside he found Slade sitting on the edge of the bed trying to calm down. His whole body was tense and his breath was coming out fast. His hands gripped the bedspread tightly, still covered in Rhett’s blood. 

“What was that about?”

October didn’t answer immediately. He slid out of Slade’s pajama pants and slid on his own boxers. Then grabbed his jeans off the floor and slid them on. 

“I just beat the fucking guy’s face in, and you can’t fucking answer me.”

“I don’t remember fucking asking you to do that.” October snapped back as he grabbed his shirt and slid it on. 

“Answer me.” Slade grabbed October by the wrist and yanked him closer, “What the fuck was that about?” 

“Let go of me” October spat as he jerked his arm away and took a few steps back.

“Chill out baby” Slade said as he grabbed October’s arm again and this time slowly pulled him back over. 

“It’s nothing. He was just pissed off that I stopped talking to him.” October said willing himself to relax. It was hard. He could feel Slade’s hold on his wrist, his hand sticky with Rhett’s blood and holding on too tightly. 

“What did he do?” Slade asked loosening his hold a little now that October was giving him what he wanted.

“Nothing. Nothing big, I just don’t want to hang around him anymore.” October couldn’t look at Slade, had to stare at the carpeting instead. 

“What did he do October?” Slade asked softer now. 

“It’s not that big of a deal. We had fucked a few times before. We were at a party and I got too drunk so I had to lay down. He wanted to have sex, I was so fucking drunk I couldn’t really move or talk, and he did it anyways. I’m not mad or anything, I just can’t be around him anymore.”

Slade had just began to calm down, but it was like with every word October spoke he was unwinding all of that progress. His body was growing more and more rigid. His jaw was clenched tight and his grip on October’s arm was punishing. His knuckles were completely white where they gripped at the bedsheets. 

“You're hurting me.” October pleaded with him, and was surprised when Slade immediately dropped his arm. 

Slade was eerily calm as he stood up from the bed. His expression emotionless as he slid off his pajama pants and let them drop to the floor. October’s throat was tight with some kind of mangled hope that maybe Slade was just getting ready for bed. He clung to that hope as long as he could manage as he watched Slade stoically walk across the room to where his blue jeans were. 

“What are you doing?”

Slade ignored him and slid the blue jeans on before grabbing his shirt and slipping it on. His shoes were put on next, each step completed in silence and without so much as glancing at October. 

“Slade, please.” October begged as the man walked over to nightstand and opened it. 

October stood up as soon as he saw the dark metal. His stomach was twisted into painful knots as he watched Slade check over the black pistol with a cold emotionless efficiency. He swallowed down hard as Slade slid the pistol in his waistband. 

“What are you going to do?” October asked again, scared of the awnser. 

“What I should have done earlier” 

“Slade, please don’t.” October pleaded, “Can’t we just drop this”

October began backing away slowly, moving his way towards the door without ever taking his eyes off Slade.

“You’re protecting him.” Slade accused, “After all he fucking did, you’re protecting him.”

“I just don’t want anyone to get hurt”

“I’m not going to hurt him, I’m going to put a bullet through his skull.”

October blocked him as he tried to move past him to the door. 

“Move” He said with no inflection, cold and frighteningly calm. 

October held his ground, but Slade towered over him. It took nothing for Slade to throw him into the door frame so hard he was going to have a bruise the next day. 

“I said fucking move”

Slade tried to push past him but October kept himself braced against the doorframe. 

“I said move”

“He has a daughter.” October begged, “She’s real little, can’t even talk yet. She’s going to be there, Slade.”

“She’ll be better off” 

“Is that what they’ll say about Serenity at your funeral?” 

October didn’t get out of the way in time to avoid the punch. It was one good one right to the face, hard enough that it made his head slam into the doorframe. Both sides of his head exploded with pain and he couldn’t help the instinct to fall down to his knees and protect his face with his hands. 

Slade could have easily gotten past him, but had moved away in his anger and was now pacing further inside the bedroom. 

“Fuck!” Slade shouted as he started kicking in his nightstand.

The noises he made were almost guttural as he stomped the nightstand so mercilessly the door came off. 

“God fucking damn it” 

October didn’t move once while Slade demolished the nightstand. Slade’s kicks came less and less frequently until eventually he stopped completely. He collapsed down onto the bed and buried his head in his hands. 

October's face throbbed in time with his heartbeat, but he didn't think he was hurt all that bad. Probably just going to leave a bruise. He got to his feet and thought about leaving. He was so fucking done today. He had spent hours working on that paper though, and he didn’t think he could stomach just leaving it there. A whole day wasted just because Rhett and Slade had to be so fucking melodramatic. 

He took a long look at the door and then back to where Slade was sitting. He took a deep breath and went over to the bed. 

It was early in the morning when October finally climbed out of Slade’s car in his driveway. October took a long drag off of his cigarette as he took in the lit up windows of his trailer. The wind was picking up and sleet was starting to fall, but the unforgiving winter air was so much more welcoming than what was waiting for him inside. He gripped his arms for warmth, regretting every good deed he ever tried to do, and watched the front door like it might sneak up on him. He took another drag off his cigarette and tossed it to the ground, before he stomped it into the sleet covered road like it even had a chance of sparking a flame in such damp weather. 

He stumbled drunkenly up the stairs and unlocked the front door. He was filled with the kind of nervous expectation of someone cranking a jack-in-the-box, he was half surprised nothing jumped out at him as he pushed the door open. He looked over at the time on the microwave, ‘5:00’ glared back at him accusingly. After Rhett’s dramatics, calming Slade down, and finishing his paper he was lucky that it was only five. 

If he went to bed now, he could get an hour of sleep, sober up, and shower before he had to work at seven. 

The living room was empty, and it filled October with an unpleasant amount of hope. Maybe Kate fell asleep waiting up on him. He walked over to the space heaters and shut them off, before turning out the lights and shutting off the tv. 

When he turned around Kate was standing in the hallway to the bedroom. 

She was so small, even smaller wearing a faded men’s sweatshirt for a nightgown. Not the kind of small meant for designer dresses and born out of strict diets. The type of small that comes out of dark places and cages that are too small. He can see all the scars from the burns on her thighs. The scars she tells people came from accidently dropping a straightener on her lap. 

She stood purposefully in the hall, standing between him and his bed. 

“Where were you?” She asked angrily.

“Slade’s, I was working on a paper. But I guess you know that, seeing how you called Rhett and told him where I was.”

“ I was trying to get ahold of you. I called Slade and he didn’t pick up, so I called Rhett. Why is that such a big deal?” Kate asked, impossible to catch in a lie, but October fucking knows it was on purpose. His sister was smart, smart enough to notice that he was avoiding Rhett.

“I had to watch Slade beat the shit out of him, that’s why it’s such a big fucking deal.”

“I think that says a lot more about your taste in men then it does about what I did.” Kate’s delivery is cold and it reminds October why he never liked arguing with Kate. She doesn’t even hesitate to take cheap shots.

“You didn’t give a fuck about my taste in men when you were crying your sob story to Alabaster last night.” October was drunk enough that he wanted to talk about it. Wants to scream about it. 

He can tell he caught Kate by surprise, like that’s not how she expected him to think that story played out. 

She recovered quickly though and was back with her emotional sucker punches.

“What sob story? Newsflash October. We are poor. Ridiculously poor.” Kate yelled back at him, “That motherfucker had three hundred dollars in cash, just sitting in his wallet. We won’t have to buy groceries for fucking months, October. We need that money.”

“Fuck him and his fucking charity. I’d rather starve to death.” October spat back, “ People don’t give out money for free Kate. They use it to make themselves feel better about keeping you, fucking you, and taking things from you that they can’t buy in the store. I was going to tell him to go fuck himself, until I learned that you practically begged him for it.”

Kate had the decency to look suitably chastised. “I know.” She said quietly, starting up a new round of tears. 

“I’m not doing that again.” October drove the point home. 

“I said I know,” Kate said, crying now in earnest. 

“If I need to work more, I’ll work more. Okay?” October said, he was beginning to soften. “We don’t need anyone else.” It was frustrating that he couldn’t ever fight with his sister. The moment that he showed even the slightest disappointment or anger with her she would cry and apologize. She wouldn’t learn from it, always doing the same things over and over again. It made October feel trapped, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t like seeing his sister cry. Especially when there are a part of him that felt like he somehow was to blame. 

“You just work so- hard” She said between sobs, “I’m so worr-ied about you.”

October pulled his sister in his arms and almost instinctively began to gently rock her. Now that he was done yelling he was starting to feel guilty. 

“I was so- scared all day, I was so worried something happened.” She cried into his shirt, “You didn’t even leave a note.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you Sis, I was just blowing off steam”


	7. Shots, Shots, Shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just so you know,” October began breathlessly as he pulled away, “I’m not going to let you fuck me tonight.”
> 
> “Mmm,” Alabaster made a noise that didn’t make October think he was all too worried about it, “Why’s that?”
> 
> “Don’t want to make a habit of it.”October said honestly, “Or don’t want you to make a habit out of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's super late. I'm going to try to get better about updating on time.

“Kate, you are being a little ridiculous don’t you think?

October felt like he was in a heist movie, but instead of stealing all the money in a casino vault his mission was just to not have sex with his date. 

“October this is important. If you don’t want to go out with him again, you have to not have sex with him tonight. I’m taking out everything but twenty dollars, that shouldn’t be enough to get drunk off of but enough to buy you a couple drinks. Just insist on buying your own.” Kate said very seriously as she took his cash and debit card out of his wallet and set it down on the kitchen counter. 

October slipped on his shoes and managed to keep his eyes from rolling. “I have ‘some’ self-control.”

Kate looked at him like she might disagree, but was at least nice enough to not say anything. 

“He’ll lose interest. Just have a few drinks with him, tell him your stomach is hurting, and be home by midnight.” Kate said reassuringly, “No big deal.”

“Like Cinderella?” October grinned.

Kate didn’t look like she thought his joke was very funny. She just looked at him with a very serious look on her face. 

“I’m sorry I got you into this,” Kate said, and October believed her. 

A knock on the screen door interrupted them.

October flicked on the porch lights and unlocked the door. He flinched as the wind caught the flimsy door and slammed it open allowing the cold air to rush in. It wasn't snowing, but it had to be the coldest day yet.

“Jesus!” October shuddered as the freezing air passed through his t-shirt like it was made of tissue paper.

He moved out of the way so Alabaster could come in and then quickly forced the door back shut. 

If October was playing Cinderella, Alabaster choose the wrong color palette for prince charming. His dark wool overcoat over his black on black suit was better suited for an antagonist. He was always so overdressed, it made October feel like a teenager in his faded band shirt and distressed jeans. 

“Hey,” October greeted dumbly as he looked up at Alabaster’s handsome face. October had forgotten how attractive the guy was, maybe Kate wasn't being so ridiculous after all. 

“Hey,” Alabaster parroted and pulled a large white gift box from where it was stashed under one of his arms and handed it to October. 

“What’s this?” October asked as he instinctually took the box. 

“Couldn’t help myself.”

October tried to hand it back but Alabaster didn't take it. So he was forced to either hold it or let it fall to the ground. 

“I don't want it.”

“Then take it as a favor to me.”

October rolled his eyes and immediately started opening it, it didn’t occur to him to ask if he should open it now or not until he already had the lid off. He halted for a moment, then decided it was too late and finished pulling out the gift. 

It was a coat. It was a blinding white, that October never would have chosen because it was definitely going to get dirty. It was heavy and thick and had white fur along the hood and sleeves. It was pretty, but not something October ever would have bought.

“I noticed last time that you didn’t have a coat”

October didn’t know how Alabaster noticed that it wasn’t like they went outside or anything. He was grateful though. He did really need a coat.

“It’s pretty,” October said because it was the nicest thing he could say about it. 

“I thought you would look good in white.”

“I hope you think I look good in dingy off-white too. There’s no way it’s going to stay this pretty.” October slid the coat on and immediately found himself pleased with the secure weight of it and the warmth. At least it was going to be a good coat. 

“Is it going to be warm enough?” Alabaster asked. He was obviously pleased, his smile seemed so genuine that October didn’t have the heart to underplay how nice the coat was.

“Yeah. It’s really nice. Thank you.”

Kate cleared her throat in the corner, effectively breaking up the uncomfortable energy in the air.

“I’m gonna wait up for you.” Kate said quietly, “So just make sure to call if you know… I shouldn’t.”

“Thanks, Mom,” He joked but gave her a reassuring smile. It was nice to have someone waiting for him. Someone that cared if he just decided to not come home. 

October followed Alabaster out of the trailer. It was so cold that October could see his breath, but Alabaster’s car was still running and October already knew that it would be nice and warm inside. He was a little confused by the car that was parked behind Alabaster’s and the two men standing next to it. 

Alabaster answered the question before he could ask, “My private security.”

“ Yeah, Kate told me you had bodyguards. They weren’t with you the first night you spent the night.” October remarked, not sure how he felt about this yet.

“They weren’t very happy about it either.” Alabaster said with an easy laugh as he opened up the rear door for October to get in. The warmth of the car fended off the cold from the open door and October slid into the slick black seat comfortably. 

“How much did this car cost you?” October asked, “Never mind, I don’t even want to know.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” October swallowed down hard. He did. 

They arrived at T.J’s too quickly. The too nice cars sliding into the gravel parking lot of the old outlet mall. T.J’s was settled next to a coin laundromat and an empty space that hasn’t had anything in it since October could remember. It was a broken down building with blacked out windows, various posters for past and upcoming shitty garage bands scotch taped to the front. October could even already hear a shitty cover of “Hotel California” blaring through the wall. Everything that October knows is within walking distance and Alabaster said that he would let October pick. 

Part of him doubted Alabaster would ever let him pick again. Not that he wanted there to be an again. 

Two of the bodyguards walked quite a ways in front of them while the other two walked behind them. October took the short walk inside to really take in what they looked like. They were all big men and kept their faces entirely blank as they took in their surroundings. They had earpieces in their ears and occasionally one would say something quietly to another. He didn’t know how Alabaster could handle having these men around him all the time. 

As soon as they walked into the building everyone’s eyes were on them. Alabaster acted as though he didn’t even notice as he took in the place. If October’s place bothered him, he sure didn’t show it. 

The place was slow, even though it was Friday night. The air was was thick with cigarette smoke and nobody bothered to check October’s ID at the door. There was a shitty band working on another overplayed cover song that no one would be listening to. There were a bunch of booths against the wall and a few tables sporadically placed as if they had been pushed around throughout the night. A group of about four men was playing pool in the corner and another four or five people sat at the bar chatting. 

October leads them to a booth in the corner that almost feels private. He feels a new round of anxiousness run through him as they both sit and the bodyguards stand a few feet away from the booth as if to give them some privacy. 

“What do you want to drink?” October asked him, deciding he would be able to navigate this better with a little bit more social lubricant. He could hear Kate in the back of his head reminding him to stay sober, but that ship sailed as soon as they walked through the door. He wasn’t making it through this without at least a decent buzz. 

“Vodka on the rocks.” Alabaster said as his eyes ran over the room, “I can go get it if you like.”

“I will, I know the bartender.” October leaves off that they would definitely charge Alabaster more just because of how he was dressed. Alabaster pulled out a money clip and took out forty dollars and handed it to October. 

Jesus, what kind of world does this guy live in that he thinks two drinks will cost forty dollars.

Tyler’s manning the bar, and it takes all of October’s self-control to not tell him how terrible his new man bun looks. 

He instead picks on the facial hair.

“Do the children you keep in your basement like your new mustache?”

The way he scoffs and says “Funny” makes October think that’s he’s probably already heard that a few times that night. 

“Who’s the guy you’re with?” Tyler asks looking over to where Alabaster was sitting, two of the bodyguards standing on either side of the booth. October envied for a moment how natural Alabaster looked leaning back against the booth like he was just supposed to be here in this shitty little hole in the wall. 

“Just some guy.” October shrugs off dismissively, “I need a pitcher of beer, one glass, two shots of vodka, and a vodka on the rocks whatever top shelf shit you have.

Tyler doesn’t seem irritated by October dodging the question, but he’s sure that it makes him look sketchy as hell. Honestly, though, he wasn’t entirely sure Alabaster wanted him throwing around his name. He was trying his best to ignore everything that Slade told him about the man, but it kept surfacing back. 

October pulled out his twenty dollar bill and paid for the eight dollar pitcher of beer and the two four dollar shots of vodka. Ten minutes in and he already only had four dollars left, he uses it to tip Tyler. He used the forty dollars to pay for Alabaster’s drink, which was only six dollars, top shelf wasn’t very high at TJ’s. 

One of the bodyguards came over to help him carry everything, and it felt really strange to not even know the man’s name and have him do him favors. October made sure to look him in the eyes and tell him thank you, but that’s honestly all he could do. 

“You come here often?’ Alabaster asks as October hands him his change for the vodka on the rocks. He doesn’t even look at it as he slides it back into his money clip and into his pocket. 

“I can’t afford to.” October said simply, “But if I ever go out this is where I go.”

The tables were the kind someone might find in a high school cafeteria and the drinks slid over them easily. October pushed Alabaster’s vodka on the rocks over to him before filling his own glass from his pitcher and then setting the pitcher away. Alabaster was watching the stage as the drunken lead singer said something barely understandable before they broke out into another song. 

October handed Alabaster one of the shots, “I’m sorry for being a dick over the phone, take this cheap alcohol as a token of my apologies.”

“I almost feel like you are punishing me.” Alabaster said good-naturedly. He took the shot like a pro, one smooth motion, even managed to not make a face. October was proud of him, he didn’t even complain that it was practically nail polish remover. 

October took his own shot and enjoyed the easy buzz he already felt coming on. He drank too much for just a couple of shots to really get him drunk, but the warmth in his chest and the light feeling in his head was nice. He’d been at work all day and he felt the steady exhaustion he’d been accumulating for weeks now building up in his shoulders and neck. He reached up and massaged the back of his neck a little and thought about how he really should have eaten something before coming out. He was starving. 

One shot. He kept count in his head so that he didn’t make a fool of himself. October had a bad habit of over drinking when he was nervous. 

He looked up and saw Tyler looking at them from where he stood at the bar, and suddenly October remembered his question. 

“Is it okay to tell people your name?” October asked, “The bartender just asked me who you were and I didn’t know what to say.”

Alabaster met October’s gaze and held it as he took a drink of his vodka. He swallowed down slowly and set the glass down before speaking. October nervously took a drink of his own beer. 

“Of course.” Alabaster smirked at him, “What makes you ask?”

“The thousand dollar suits and the bodyguards mostly,” October said before he could stop himself. 

Jesus, October, could you not be yourself, for like ten seconds. 

“If you believed the rumors I might as well be having drinks with Hitler.” He tacked on because for some reason he thought it made it better. It didn’t. He just called the man Hitler. 

“That’s a little bit dramatic.” Alabaster said with a smile, “Where did you hear this?”

“My friend S-” The name almost slips out of October’s mouth before he thinks better of it. He let the name die on his lips and brought his beer to his lips.

“It doesn’t feel fair.” October complains into his beer, “You know everything I don’t want you to know about me, and I don’t know jack shit about you. It doesn’t feel equal.”

“Equal?” Alabaster asked amused.

“Typically my relationships are pretty simple. We want to fuck, we fuck. I don’t know shit about them and they don’t know jack about me, Equal.” October said simply, “ I don’t owe them anything and they don’t owe me anything.”

“You feel like I owe you something?”

When Alabaster put it that way it sounded a lot more aggressive than October meant it to be, but he wasn’t going to back down.

“You didn’t leave anything alone.” October defended, “My sister, my mother, where I sleep, who I fuck… I don’t know anything about you.”

“Let’s fix that then.” Alabaster said, easing all of October’s anxiety with a casual smile. He turned towards the bodyguard closest to him and handed him some cash, “Go get us a bottle of vodka and don’t forget to tip the bartender.”

“A bottle of vodka?” October liked where this was going, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Absolutely.”

There goes Kate’s masterplan. 

The bottle of vodka certainly wasn’t good vodka, but it wasn’t the nail polish remover they had been shooting earlier. It was probably the nicest shit they had in a place like this. Alabaster inspected it for just a moment before opening it and pouring both of the empty shot glasses full. He slid one of the shots towards October and kept the other one in front of himself. 

“Take it and I’ll answer a question. A shot for a question.”

October looked at Alabaster and then took the shot. He grimaced at the taste and chased it with some of his beer.

Two Shots.

“What do you do for a living?” October asked going for a hard question early. He wanted to know if Alabaster actually intended on keeping up his end of the bargain. 

Alabaster took a long slow drink of his vodka before setting the glass down and standing up. He slid over into October’s side of the booth. Alabaster’s arm draped naturally along the back of the seat, close enough to October now that he could feel the man’s body heat and smell the rich scent of his cologne. His leg brushed against October’s own and the way he had his entire body turned towards October made the younger man feel trapped. 

Alabaster was so close to October that his lips brushed against his ear when he finally spoke. “I organize and bankroll a lot of illegal activity internationally. Distribution, manufacturing, and transport.”

“Drugs?” October asked quietly.

“Some of its drugs.” What Alabaster didn’t say hung heavy in the air and October decided he didn’t want to know. 

October reached over and grabbed the bottle of vodka, he filled the empty glass and pushed it towards Alabaster. Alabaster leaned back a little but was still nearly pressed against October in a way that October should mind a lot more than he did. The man was warm and smelled good, it was hard to worry about unnamed crimes against unknown people. 

“Who's your friend?” Alabaster asked before taking the shot and downing it in the same smooth motion as before. 

“It wasn’t a big deal. He’s always full of shit.” October said looking away from Alabaster and focusing his attention on the ugly checkered pattern of the booth. 

“I’m not going to do anything. I just want to know who knows who I am.” Alabaster reassured as he let go of the shot glass and rested his hand on the inside of October’s thigh. His hand was warm even through the denim.

“His name is Slade. He’s your brother Hyde’s half-brother.” October said softly, “I think he’s full of shit. I don’t think he really knows anything, he just knows about you because of Hyde.”

“Slade,” Alabaster said with a knowing smile, “I’ve never actually met him, but Hyde is pretty fond of him. Don’t worry, I don’t hurt people over a few hyperboles.”

“Do you hurt people often?” 

October took the shot and felt like he was being punished twice, once by the taste and again by the way it settled in his empty stomach. 

Three shots.

Alabaster’s eyes held his for far too long before he smiled.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

It didn’t really answer the question, but in a way, it answered the question October wanted. He felt his face warm, and it wasn’t just from the liquor. 

“What would you do if you won the lottery?”

Alabaster had to move his hand from October’s thigh to fill the shot glass and knock it back, and October decided he missed the steady grip on his leg. The question was stupid, but October was glad that they were moving away from the heaviness of the early questions. 

“What is this third-grade truth or dare now? Are we getting to know each other at the company Christmas party?”

“Indulge me.” Alabaster didn’t seem offended.

“I don’t know. I would live somewhere with central heat and air for damn sure.” October rattled off before taking a sip of his beer, “ I would buy a car. Nothing snazzy, like a Corolla or something. I would pay up the insurance for at least four years. So I don’t have to worry about it while I’m going to school. Maybe pay up on all of my bills so I don’t have to work while I’m finishing my degree. Get Kate in to see a therapist. If I have anything left over put it in a savings account or something.”

It was a terrible question that October had answered probably a thousand times, but Alabaster was listening to him so intently that it made October blush a little bit. 

“Probably sounds stupid to you,” October said before drinking more of his beer, he needed to stop drinking but it was just so easy to hide his anxiety behind his glass. 

“No, it doesn’t sound stupid at all.” Alabaster reassured, “It’s just hard to believe that’s what you dream about. No trips to exotic countries? No, fancy technology?”

October couldn’t help but be a little embarrassed, “Sorry it’s boring, but you asked.”

Alabaster filled the shot glass again and slid it over to October. 

Four Shots. He barely felt this one. He probably should have eaten. 

Alabaster’s hand was on October’s thigh, confidently rubbing higher, a tease of what was waiting for them as soon as they stopped pretending to have anything in common other than this. October leaned back against the booth and spread his legs a little bit wider. 

“What countries have you been too?” October choked out, he barely remembered he was supposed to ask a question. 

“I’ve been everywhere.” Alabaster said as his hand slid higher, past where October wanted it and straight to the flat planes of October’s stomach. 

“Morocco,” His hand slid under October’s cheap band t-shirt, warm fingers following the curve of his body. 

“Portugal,” His hand moved up his chest, October moved into the touch as that hand caressed his flushed skin. 

“Sri Lanka…” Alabaster’s warm fingers brushed against October’s nipple causing his entire body to jerk to attention.

“Just so you know,” October began breathlessly as he pulled away, “I’m not going to let you fuck me tonight.”

“Mmm,” Alabaster made a noise that didn’t make October think he was all too worried about it, “Why’s that?”

“Don’t want to make a habit of it.”October said honestly, “Or don’t want you to make a habit out of it.”

“Hmm. Is this no longer affordable?” Alabaster asked amused as he poured himself another shot and took it. October didn’t know if the guy had pretty good tolerance or what, but so far he didn’t even seem buzzed and October was practically swaying. 

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m barely treading water right now.” 

More like he was drowning, every day sinking further and further beneath the waves. 

“Anything I can do to help?” 

“No.” October said frustrated, “That’s the problem. You can’t just show up and buy my groceries for two months on a whim.”

“It was pocket change.”

“For you maybe. How am I supposed to ever pay you back?” 

“ I don’t want you to pay me back.” 

“Bullshit.” October sighed, “Everybody wants you to pay them fucking back. Maybe not in money, but nobody gives you something for nothing. What do you think you are buying?”

October poured himself a shot and took it, figured might as well make Alabaster’s lie part of the game. 

“I thought it would make your sister like me.”

“Why would you care if Kate likes you?” October asked. He suddenly felt very off guard, he wasn’t expecting an answer that sounded so honest. 

“You said that you were close to her.” Alabaster looked amused, “ As I said over the phone, I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

“You should have just told me you were kissing up to Kate,” October said defensively. 

Alabaster laughed at that, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

…

October groaned as he was pressed face down into the slick leather seats of Alabaster’s overpriced car. He reached down and helped Alabaster pull his jeans over his ass. Having his pants only pulled down part of the way made him feel even more exposed than if he had been completely naked. Alabaster smacked him squarely on the meat of his ass and it made his whole body shake. He lifted his hips up, wordlessly begging for more. The next one was harder and stung so badly October cursed, it was quickly followed by another one and then another until October’s whole body was trembling and hot.

He was starting to feel a little light headed as Alabaster flipped him over and yanked his pants further down his legs. It was probably from drinking so much so quickly and moving around. He was starting to feel nauseous. He spread his legs as wide as he could with his jeans still tight around his ankles. Alabaster gripped him by the upper thigh and lifted his legs high, he slid further down in the seat and kept his feet pressed against the ceiling. He was a little worried about leaving dirty shoe prints on the ceiling, but then Alabaster put his cock in his mouth and suddenly he was distracted. 

“Oh. Oh. Fuck.” October cursed, he dug his nails into the overpriced leather and tried to remember that the only thing between him and Alabaster’s bodyguards was a little bit of tinted glass. 

His mouth was so wet and warm, and October had the full view of the tip of his cock slipping past wet lips. He replaced his mouth with his hand, which was big enough that it made October’s cock feel small by comparison, easily able to wrap itself around the entirety of his dick and spread the saliva and precum in an agonizing pull. 

His other hand was busy cupping October’s ass. Alabaster’s fingers felt cool against October’s burning skin as they massaged his ass. He groaned into the leather as the fingers pulled apart his asscheeks. Jesus, fuck this was humiliating, but he couldn’t keep himself from shivering and making little motions to fuck up into Alabaster’s tight grip. 

When Alabaster’s tongue first slides across his opening his entire body jerks like he’s been shocked. He manages to take a deep breath before Alabaster’s enthusiastically eating out his ass. His eyes roll back in his head and he’s torn between fucking up into the hand wrapped around his cock or moving into the tongue currently trying to eat him alive. 

When he comes it's so sudden he can’t even prepare for it, his whole body goes rigid and he can’t even see for almost a minute straight. When he comes back to his senses, Alabaster is running a hand through his hair in a way that October could only call affectionately. Normally it would piss him off, but it was actually kind of nice.

“You could warn a guy, you know,” October said with a laugh.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Alabaster pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the cum off on October’s stomach, unfortunately, a little bit got on the edge of his t-shirt but there wasn’t much they could do about that. 

Alabaster sat back up and leaned into his seat, though he wasn’t complaining October was sure that being crouched over had been as uncomfortable for him as being folded in half had been for October. While they had been fooling around the rest of the alcohol October had drunk must have finally kicked in. What had been a little bit of churning in his stomach earlier, was now full-blown nausea and anytime he moved his head the world took a while to catch up.

He moved so that he was sitting on his knees in the seat next to Alabaster and started undoing his belt. Between just orgasming and being nauseous he wasn’t in the mood anymore, but he wasn’t going to just get off and not reciprocate. 

Besides, it was just a blow job. 

He pulled Alabaster’s cock out of his designer boxers began to get to work. The man had a nice dick, it was long and thick in a way that October had appreciated fully the last time they fucked. However, October couldn’t care less at that moment. He just wanted to get this over with. 

He sucked and bobbed his head as enthusiastically as he could manage, stroking the part of the cock he couldn’t fit in his mouth with his hands. It must have been the movement because all the sudden nausea that had just been an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was suddenly an emergency. 

Oh, fuck no, he was not throwing up in this guys luxury car. 

He scrambled over Alabaster’s lap and desperately grabbed at the door until he managed to swing the door open. He tripped over the jeans around his legs and fell down into the gravel parking lot. As soon as he got to his knees he immediately began to vomit. He could hear Alabaster calling after him, and knew that the bodyguard next to him was saying something, but he was too busy puking his guts out to know what. 

October was pretty sure he was going to die of humiliation. Not only did he have to throw up in the middle of a blow job, but he did it bareass in the middle of T.J’s parking lot in front of the guy’s bodyguards. 

As soon as he finished throwing up, a fully dressed Alabaster was helping him stand up. One of the bodyguards was handing him napkins, while Alabaster was hiking up his blue jeans and buttoning them from him. He looked around desperately for a way out of this, but he didn’t see one. He could run home, but Alabaster knew where he lived and there was no way he was just going to let this go. 

He let Alabaster guide him back into the car and fought back tears that were welling up in his eyes.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just dying of humiliation,” October said as he wiped at some of the tears that had escaped.

Alabaster laughed, which simultaneously made October feel a little better and a little worse. 

“You’re kind of a dick,” October said honestly.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I swear.” Alabaster said but couldn’t seem to stop himself from laughing, “If it helps I’m pretty sure I just flashed the entire parking lot my penis.”

The few tears that had slipped past seemed to multiply, he couldn’t seem to stop crying now. 

When Alabaster noticed his amusement really quickly turned into concern. “Oh, Baby, Don’t cry.” Alabaster took October’s face in his hands and wiped away some of the tears with his fingers, “It’s okay. Everything’s alright now.” 

“I’m so sorry,” October said with a desperate sort of laugh, “I didn’t eat dinner.”

“Let’s get you something to eat then.”


	8. Bourbon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My apologies, I didn’t mean to be rude.”
> 
> He didn’t sound apologetic at all.
> 
> He wasn’t a big man but he took up space like one, he had very long limbs and his hand motions were large and exaggerated.
> 
> He held out a hand for October to shake, “It’s nice to finally meet you October, my name is Hyde.” 
> 
> October took it cautiously, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

October watched the water gush from the faucet and splash against the sides of the ceramic sink. The water splattered droplets on the bathroom mirror and dampened the cuffs of his coat. He leaned fully against the sink as he brushed his teeth, travel size tube of name brand toothpaste clutched in his unused hand. 

Brushing the taste of vomit out of his mouth in a restaurant bathroom, unfortunately, wasn’t the most embarrassing thing he’d done that night. He should have just gone home, but he didn’t think he could face Kate stumbling drunk and breath smelling of liquor and throw up. Alabaster had sent someone to get a toothbrush from a gas station, and it had bought Alabaster a couple more hours of his time. 

He tossed the toothbrush into the trashcan and pulled out his cell phone. He already had five messages from Kate and it wasn’t even midnight yet. 

Kate: How's it going?  
Kate: Sorry if I’m bothering you  
Kate: You okay?  
Kate: I’m just worried, we don’t even really know this guy  
Kate: Sorry. 

He wrote a quick text message back.

‘Sorry. Phone is on silent. I’m okay. Gonna be late. Getting food.’

He put his phone back in his pocket and slipped back into the dining area.

The restaurant was one of those 24 hours and 7 days a week breakfast diners, some shitty franchise that got most of its business from truck drivers and drunk teenagers. It was obviously his choice, not Alabaster’s. The dining area was packed with people his age in various states of intoxication loudly laughing at each other's jokes. October was grateful that he wasn’t the most intoxicated person in the building, and he was willing to bet not the only one who had thrown up during a blow job.

Alabaster stood out in contrast still wearing his dark black overcoat and sitting in one of the white booths with the red cushions. His arm was extended casually over the back of it and he was listening to something one of the bodyguards was saying. The conversation came to an end as soon as October could actually hear what they were saying, but he didn’t get the impression they were talking about him. 

“Do you feel better?” Alabaster asked before taking a sip from the steaming coffee cup in front of him. It was all that he had ordered. 

October nodded before he took a seat on the opposite side of the booth. His food had already arrived, October didn’t know how long ago, but it was still warm. October was starving. The waffle on his plate wasn’t hot enough to melt the slabs of butter that was plopped on them and it looked a little pale and mushy. He smothered it in room temp syrup and began to eat. He was pretty sure it was just because he was starving, but they were delicious. 

They sat in an oddly comfortable silence as October scarfed down lukewarm waffles and overdone eggs. It wasn’t until October was halfway finished that he slowed down enough to actually talk. 

“I’m really sorry. I don’t think this is what you had in mind when you asked me out.” October said, and even he could hear the self-loathing in his tone. He was just so fucking sick being himself today. He picked up his water glass, and it had so much condensation pouring down the sides that the paper napkin that was set on it stuck to it. He gulped down half of it.

Alabaster smirked a little and took a sip of his coffee. 

“I like you more than when I asked you out.”

October scoffed in disbelief, “Then you have bad taste.”

Alabaster laughed. 

“What could you possibly like about me tonight?”

“I don’t think I can tell you without insulting you.”

“Do it anyway.”

Alabaster took a long moment to take a drink from his cup before he spoke, October had completely stopped eating and now was just watching him. 

“You are a good person. I’ve always heard that. I just always thought it was because you were naive, or gullible, or stupid.”

“And now?”

“I think it’s because you are suicidal.”

“You are right.” October couldn’t help but smile, “I am insulted.”

October smiled down at his half-eaten waffle for a moment before a question popped up in his mind. “Who have you been gossiping about me with?” October asked, he honestly didn’t think they actually knew that many people in common. Let alone anyone that would call October a good person. 

“I wouldn't call it gossiping.”

“Don't dodge the question.”

“My brother Hyde”

“Why would he know anything about me?”

“He checks in on you from time to time, when he is giving your mother money.”

“Why would he give my mother money?”

Alabaster sat there expressionless and quiet as he took a few slow sips of coffee. October couldn’t tell what he was thinking but did get the impression that Alabaster considered this an area that required slow deliberate steps. “I wasn't aware that you didn't know. Hyde has been giving your mother money monthly on your father’s behalf up until your father died. Madeline and Nathan had trouble being civil towards each other, so Hyde was the one who gave her Nathan’s child support.”

“My father never paid child support, not once in the twenty-two years I’ve been alive. Why would someone like your brother know my father?”

It wasn’t that October was trying to argue, it was just that everything Alabaster said was in complete opposition to everything he had ever known. 

“Nathan gave your mother money every month. I’m not sure how much, you would have to ask Hyde. As for why they know each other, they worked together for fifteen years until Nathan went to prison.”

“My mother said my father never worked a day in his life. That he was some fucking deadbeat.”  
“I don’t doubt that’s what she told you.”

“But she lied?”

“Yes.”

“We lived in filth my whole life. Why would she choose to live there if she had money?”

Alabaster took another drink of his coffee again and October’s waffle sat untouched and growing cold. 

“Did she though? You said yourself that she was gone for weeks at a time. My guess is she showed up just in time to get paid every month. I don’t know how much Nathan was paying her, but I doubt it was insubstantial.” 

“Why? Why would she do that?”

“You would have to ask her.”

“Do you think I could talk to your brother?”

“Sure, we can go now if you want. He'll be at work for a while, we will have to drive into the city.”

“He wouldn't mind? It's late.”

“I was planning on seeing him anyways after our date.” 

“That didn't really answer my question.”

Alabaster smiled at that and took another drink. 

“Hyde is a very kind and sympathetic person, very much against his will. He is going to act very put upon, but I think he would actually really like to meet you. He was really close to Nathan.”

…

When Alabaster told him that Hyde was still working October had imagined a large towering building or a tiny space in a strip mall. He was not expecting the large aging facade of an empty nightclub, “Bobby’s’ glowing in neon above a musical note. For a Friday night, the parking lot was completely empty except for four cars parked in the first row and a few white trucks circling the area with ‘Security’ on the side of them. 

“Your brother works here?” October asked hesitantly as he let Alabaster help him out of the car. 

“Not exactly. He owns it.”

“Doesn’t exactly look like business is booming,” October said as they walked along behind the bodyguards through the front doors of the building. 

“Nobody shows up until after all the other clubs close. In an hour it will be so packed in here that you won’t be able to breathe through all the cigarette smoke.” 

“Cigarette smoke? Does your brother have a special permit or something, I didn’t think you could smoke inside private clubs in Illinois.”

“Hyde just pays the fine.” 

That’s sketchy as hell. 

The entrance was covered in different posters for different bands and DJs, some of them were even bands October had actually heard of. Red velvet stanchions were placed to guide patrons in a winding line that seemed to end with a walk through a big metal detector like something at a courthouse. There were three large guys wearing black t-shirts with security written on the front in big blocky white letters watching at the end of the line. 

The club’s security didn’t seem phased as they watched Alabaster’s bodyguards move the stanchions to the side and out of the way as they entered the building, completely ignoring both the path and the metal detector. One of them spoke into their headset, but none of them greeted or tried to stop them.

The actual club was huge in comparison to the bar they had spent most of the evening in, but not any better quality. There was a big empty dance floor with two stages on either side of the room, bright neon colored lights did choreographed paths across the room. However, even in the dim light and through the smoky haze, it was easy to see the place was falling apart. 

There was a staircase to the side of the room that was blocked by three security staff and a “staff only” sign. When they saw Alabaster they stepped to the side. Alabaster began up the stairs alone, his security staff wordlessly and seamlessly moving to stand at the foot like part of some choreographed dance. October scurried up the stairs behind Alabaster, grateful the older man hadn't seemed to notice him faltering. 

They came upon a normal door, one that could have just as easily led to a storeroom or staff break room, and Alabaster rapt his knuckles against the door once and without waiting for a response opened it. 

“You should have called to say you were coming so early, we could have had dinner together.” A gravelly voice apathetically greeted from the dark smoke filled room. 

The only light in the entire room was a small desk lamp. The walls were smoke stain yellow except for a few patches that were eerily bleached white. There was a large framed poster for some band, but it was covered in dust and if October had to bet had been there long before it was Hyde's office. The floors were covered in a thick layer of dust and dried mud, except for a few spots that like the spots on the wall were noticeably clean. 

At the end of the room was a huge wooden desk, the only furniture in the room, and making up for it with its intimidating size. Who October could only assume was Hyde sat behind it, teetering precariously on what looked like a plain wooden kitchen chair with both of his Oxfords propped up on the desk. He looked heavily engrossed in writing something in a small bound book and had yet to look up at either of them. He held a thin white cigarette in the side of his mouth, long overdue for ashing. 

“You really should let someone in here to clean.” Alabaster said as he looked over to October and smiled. October got the distinct feeling that Alabaster said that to explain the state of the room to him and not because he was trying to convince Hyde. 

“That’s how you get bugs.”

“I've noticed the opposite myself.” October said before he could help himself.

Alabaster let out a little laugh, and October was relieved that Alabaster thought it was a joke.

Hyde’s head jerked up from his book, but the surprise quickly morphed into irritation. Hyde closed the book and tucked it into the inner pocket of his suit without taking his eyes off October. 

“You brought Nathan’s kid?” Hyde said in what had to be feigned apathy as he took his cigarette and ashed it in an overflowing ashtray.

Nathan’s kid. Like October was some unruly seven year old.

“I thought you might like to introduce yourself, but you are being very rude to your guest.”

The chair returned to all four legs with a heavy thump and Hyde swung his legs off the desk and stood up. The man strolled across the room like he was walking down the fucking street. A cigarette between his fingers and his other hand casually resting on his hip. His face was mostly shadowed, the glow of the lamp and the ember of his cigarette lighting him up just enough to see the curve of his grin. 

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

He didn’t sound apologetic at all.

He wasn’t a big man but he took up space like one, he had very long limbs and his hand motions were large and exaggerated.

He held out a hand for October to shake, “It’s nice to finally meet you October, my name is Hyde.” 

October took it cautiously, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“October had some questions about his father that he would like to ask you.” Alabaster said, hand tight on October's shoulder. It was reassuring to know that he was right there. Guiding him through this mine field of a man. However, October knew that in Alabaster’s eyes that there were only two men in the room, and October was not one of them. 

“Of course,” Hyde said agreeably, “Would you mind giving us a moment of privacy?”

“I’ll go get us some drinks. I will be back in ten minutes.” Alabaster said reassuringly with a squeeze of October's shoulder. Then he left the room and it was just October and Hyde. 

Hyde turned around in a spin and walked back over to his desk. He opened up one of the drawers and pulled out something that looked similar to one of those metal detecting rods they have at the courthouse or airports. 

“Detects listening devices.” Hyde explained as he walked back over to October. He kneeled down and stared at October's feet and slowly moved his way up October's body. He was close enough now that October could get a good look at him. Smaller than his brother, but they both had the same thick dark curls and defined jaw. He had Slade's too many teeth grin and was close enough October could smell his cologne, masculine with hints of melon and peppers. 

He was distracted when Hyde swept the device over his chest and it began to start beeping. 

“Something must be wrong with your device.”

“Nothing is wrong with the device.” 

Hyde reached back and set the device on the desk. He then reached his hand in his suit pocket and pulled out a folded knife. He flicked it open in one easy motion and closed the distance between the two of them. 

October couldn't look anywhere but at the knife and as he tried to stumble backward Hyde grabbed him by the coat sleeve and easily yanked him back forward. 

“Relax, I'm not going to hurt you.” Hyde said irritability.

October stood completely still, unable to look away as Hyde pressed the knife to the front of his coat. He maneuvered the knife underneath the top button of his coat and in one smooth motion popped it off.

He slid the knife back in his pocket and looked down at the button in his hand. He walked over to his desk and set the button down. He picked up a half full glass of what looked like bourbon and threw it back in one good swallow. Then he took the glass and slammed it down hard on the button. 

He motioned for October to come see, and October tentatively walked over. Sure enough, the insides of the button were definitely some type of electronics. 

“I don’t understand, I promise you I didn’t know that was there.” October tried to explain, but Hyde just rolled his eyes.

“Relax.” Hyde waved him off before filling his now empty glass from the decanter on the desk. 

“Alabaster just gave me this coat. Why would he bug it?”

Hyde gave an exaggerated shrug, “Might have been Alabaster, but it was probably bugged while in transit. A lot of people touched that coat after Alabaster bought it, if Alabaster even personally bought it himself.”

October decided to let it go for now. After knowing what Alabaster did and seeing the lengths Hyde went to for a little privacy, October could believe it was someone trying to get ears on Alabaster. “Anyways, Alabaster said you're paying off my mom. Why?"

Hyde grunted like this amused him as he took a long pull of his drink before replying. “I’m not paying off your mother. Just delivering Nathan’s child support and more recently the money he left her when he died.”

“Why?”

“Nathan couldn’t stand Madeline, and I think it was mutual.”

“How did you know my father?”

Hyde took a long drink from his bourbon like this was a difficult question to answer, “He was a family friend and mentor. Taught me everything I know, bought me my first beer, yada yada. Worked together fifteen years.”

“Really?” October asked, but his disbelief turned into unexpected jealousy that rose up in him so quickly he could barely smash it down.

Hyde just nodded a little bit and looked almost apologetic. 

“What was he like?”

“ I don't know. He was really patient. He let everything have its own time. He was down to business, kind of like you...Cut throat. Coldest man I’ve ever met. Also the smartest.”

October didn't know what to say to that. His father was just a strange man who took him to McDonald's when he was seven. He didn't remember what he wore, what he said, or what he did. He just remembered a man picking them up and watching quietly as they ate their happy meals. Then watching quietly as they played in the ballpit. 

“He would have been a really shitty father.” Hyde said as he poured October a glass of bourbon.

“Thanks.” October said, and the dual meaning of it hung heavy in the air. 

“Have you seen my Mom recently?” October eventually continued on his mental list of inquiries. 

“Three or four weeks ago I delivered a lump sum of money Nathan requested I give her when he died. Now that you and your sister are adults and Nathan is dead, it should be the last time I ever see her.”

The information sat heavy in his stomach, but didn’t surprise him. Appearing out of the blue every few weeks his entire life and now that the money dried up she is nowhere to be found. He pushed down the waves of anger and sadness, until he felt nothing at all. He took a big drink from the bourbon Hyde had given him. 

A sharp knock at the door cut through the silence before Alabaster entered the room. He was carrying a handful of empty shot glasses and a bottle of something October didn't recognize under his arm. 

“You get to ask everything you wanted to ask?” Alabaster asked while still mostly in the doorway. 

“Yeah.” October said forcing himself to smile, “What did you bring us to drink?”

“Vodka”

…..

October kissed Alabaster lazily as he was pressed into the corner of the elevator. “You are so drunk.” He said completely out of breath and grinning ear to ear as he watched the elevator door close for the second time. He could just barely see what must be the entrance of Alabaster’s penthouse through the quickly closing doors. Just a sliver of gleaming marble floors. He reached over and hit the button again. 

“So are you.” Alabaster said with a ridiculous grin of his own. 

October managed to pull away in time to finally stumble out of the elevator and into the hall. Alabaster stopped the doors with his hand before they shut again and stepped out to join him. October kicked off his shoes as he took in the hall. There was a fancy light fixture that looked like a dandelion poof and the metal art piece on the wall that didn’t seem to say anything about the owner. There were even candles that had never been lit. It felt like a hotel lobby. 

“You don’t have to take your shoes off.” 

October bit his tongue and kept himself from telling Alabaster that he should take off his shoes too. These floors were too nice to track mud all over. 

“Champagne?” Alabaster offered as they made their way into the main room. 

“I can’t believe you live here. This place is gorgeous.” October ignored the question as he took in what October assumed was something like a living room. The ceilings were impossibly high and the entire adjacent wall was made up of windows that climbed all the way up to the ceiling. There were a few couches, gleaming white with little decorative pillows on each one, forming a square around what must be an overpriced coffee table with a few never been lit candles on it. There was a wet bar in the corner, it was huge and made of a dark cherry wood that shined in the light with shelves of different glasses hanging over it. There was a wine room across from it, made of mostly glass so October could see the racks of wine that reached the ceiling. 

“I wouldn’t say I live here. I really only stay here when I’m in town for business. You should see my place on the coast.”

“ I’ve never seen the ocean,” October said before he could really stop himself. 

“I’ll have to take you some time.

This was going to be the last time. October had already made up his mind about it before he even agreed to the date. He couldn't get himself to say it out loud though. Not when Alabaster was smiling at him, all gorgeous and carefree. 

So instead he pushed Alabaster down into one of his overpriced white couches and straddled him. Alabaster went down without a fight, leaning back into the couch and smiling up at him. 

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” October said with a little bit of awe as he ran his hands over Alabaster's biceps. 

The man broke out into a big smile, “Thanks, you are pretty good looking yourself.”

Not like Alabaster, he wasn't. He didn't mind though. Normal people aren't that attractive. He was okay with Alabaster being out of his league. He was just someone Alabaster saw when he was in town. He probably had men and women all over the country. Some cute looking boy in that coastal town to play around with.

“Why did you ask me out?”

It was the alcohol talking. Making him sound all weak and stupid. It slipped out before he could help it.

“Because I like you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I feel like I do.” Alabaster’s hands reached up to brush the hair out of October’s face, a gesture October would normally hate but didn’t seem to mind.

“This is our first date.” October scoffed at him, trying to find the energy to disregard Alabaster’s words but he found it hard. He wanted to believe Alabaster. Wanted to believe there was something in him that Alabaster thought was as amazing as October thought Alabaster was. 

“Do you want to know when I first knew I liked you?”

 

“Yeah.”

He really really did. 

“Do you remember when I took you all out for dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“About halfway through dinner, I got a phone call so I went outside to take it. My little brother had overdosed again, the third time in as many months. The doctor had implied that maybe it wasn’t accidental. He was stable but unconscious, so I put on my best fake smile and went back in to finish dinner. Everybody went back to talking about whatever we were talking about. The weather or the food, or sports or something and I remember just sitting there feeling like I couldn’t understand how everything was just so normal while my brother was so miserable he was trying to die. Maybe it was my fault for not saying anything, for actively trying to hide it from everyone, but no one seemed to notice that my entire world was off center. 

I paid the bill and we were all leaving the restaurant and when Kate and Madeline were out of earshot you asked me if I was okay. Something about the way you asked me, made it okay that I wasn’t. I gave you some excuse about jetlag and being tired, but it meant a lot to me that you even noticed. Nobody else did.”

“Anybody could have asked you that. I didn’t help you.” October said suddenly wracked with guilt that he had just let Alabaster continue on that night even though he knew that something was wrong. He shouldn’t have let Alabaster lie, should have insisted that he knew it wasn’t jet lag.

“Nobody else did ask.”

October reached out to touch Alabaster’s face, his cheek flushed and warm underneath October’s cool fingertips. When Alabaster didn’t pull away he cupped the man’s face lovingly, his fingers gently tracing the shell of Alabaster’s ear while his thumb brushed his full lips. 

“You are allowed to be sad,” October whispered quietly, “You know that right?”

Alabaster gave him a soft sad smile and was quiet for a long time, when he finally did speak October felt his heart sink, “How about that champagne?”


End file.
